Category Archives: Wellness

12 Lessons from My 39th Year

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I began doing this birthday exercise a couple of years ago after I was introduced to the idea by Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast. As I read through hundreds of journal entries from my last year, the theme of my 39th year seemed to jump off the pages at me: relearning the lessons I thought I had already mastered. Through these pages, I witnessed myself frequently reframing my inner narrative, taking a step back, zooming out, and trying to notice the lessons I’ve learned…and learned again, and again. 

 

For a brief moment I let shame get to me, with its unhelpful critique of “You should have known how to handle that with more wisdom,” or “you know better than to be so hard on yourself.” But the truth is, we never become infallible or impervious, despite how much practice we’ve had, even if you’re a life coach that teaches self-compassion and mindfulness for a living. We can’t check a box on how human nature has hardwired us to operate, survive and thrive. We can remain curious about why these lessons resurface, and we can go deeper on our healing around them. I’ve come to see this as an incredibly valuable opportunity. 

 

I can see the impact of better understanding myself, and the subsequent attunement to the world outside of me. The quality of my lived experience simply improved. And thus was the undertone for my 39th year – swallowing my pride and embracing a beginner’s mind. I hope that you find my lessons helpful to your own life as well. 

 

Lesson #1 – November 2023

Let go of the things that don’t belong to you. Cherish what is yours – your family, your friendships, your specialness, your worries, your grief, your friendships, your power. All the rest? Return to sender.

In November I was set back by a combination of simultaneous flu and covid, as well as the offset of an ongoing conflict with a friend that took the wind out of me. Looking back, I am saddened by how much time, energy and headspace I gave that conflict over the last year. I tend to take on a lot of emotion from others, and this experience was a pivotal lesson in protecting my emotional and energetic boundaries. I didn’t do a great job at it, but I know that is exactly what I need to practice, so that I can be present with all the beautiful (and not so beautiful, but important) things that do belong to me. 

 

Lesson #2 – December 2023

Community and connection have the power to heal and sustain us.

December was hectic with holiday fun, obligations, and trying to put a bow on 2023 at work. It was so busy that I barely journaled, so I turned to my iPhone photos to rekindle the sentiment of last December. What stood out to me was my deep gratitude for the people that filled this hectic month with meaning. I feel deeply fortunate to have such depth and breadth of relationships, knowing that I am surrounded by support and love from so many circles. Over the holidays, I had the opportunity to be there for loved ones during a time of grief, and in offering that support, I was reminded of the transformative power of authentic love and connection. Though I didn’t do it with anything in return in mind, it was a poignant lesson in how vital community truly is.

 

Lesson #3 – January 2024

There are so many “parts” within each of us that are trying to help us. If we can befriend our internal cast of characters, we can clear the way to self-love.

In January, I set my 2024 intention of “magnetic.” I wanted to attract more of the moments that made me feel buzzy. I felt connected to this intention for the most part, except when my old friend Self-Doubt appeared to knock me down a peg from time to time. As part of the Pathfinder Coaching Program’s retreat in January, we created a workshop focused on “Parts” work, a method that helps you understand the different emotions, behaviors, or inner personas that may hold conflicting beliefs or needs within you – think of the movie Inside Out. The concept is that when you understand the role that each of these parts play, you can begin to create a healthier inner dialogue between the parts, heal unresolved inner conflicts, which lead to a greater self-understanding. 

 

In order to facilitate this, I had to do the work myself. It was absolutely illuminating to explore the various parts of me, and how much they contradict each other – it’s wild in there! Some of my parts included: the good girl, the rebel, the responsible one, the wild one, the manager, the little girl, the fixer, the perfectionist, the empathizer, the helper, the sensitive, the weakling, the warrior, the romantic, and the pragmatist. When fear or insecurity surfaced, I found it grounding to identify the part of me that felt threatened, offer it care and understanding, and then move forward with renewed steadiness.

 

Lesson #4 – February 2024

Let the light both fill us, and shine forth from us.

I was poetically inspired in February. This passage from Mark Nepo’s Drinking from the River of Light struck me, “Through the window of our mind we take in endless patterns that help us understand the web of life. Through the window of our heart, we feel the thousand ways we are affected by other life, the thousand ways we are each other. It’s imperative that we love our windows and care for them.” This month, in the middle of the Pathfinder Coaching program (which requires significant self reflection and awareness for both the coach and client), I became aware of how much I am filled with light when I have these authentic exchanges with my clients who are doing this work. Though I am the facilitator, helping others to find their light, I draw inspiration and strength from these clients, and find myself again with a beginner’s mind. I dreamt a lot this month, and asked myself “what is my dream?” I want to do this more often. 

 

Lesson #5 – March 2024

At our core, all we truly long for is to be seen, understood, and valued for who we authentically are.

March brought up a swell of grief, looming on the one year anniversary of the tragic shooting at the Covenant School in Nashville. I grappled with my grief, helped clients make sense of theirs, and learned so much from them. I experienced some shame and imposter syndrome around my grief – since I was not directly related to any of the victims, I minimized and invalidated my grief. Despite all the data I know to be true, I experienced for myself that unchecked grief turns into a pressure cooker of emotions. I reframed my shame into “you are a loving person who feels deeply connected to your community.” I went to therapy, attended the Safer TN human chain that spanned nearly four miles through downtown Nashville, and wrote an email to The Happy Hour community expressing my feelings. I felt relieved, connected, and less alone after letting out my “undeserved” grief, and I didn’t feel like an imposter once it was out in the open. I received a lot of replies of community members feeling the same way, and feeling less alone after connecting in this way. 

 

As Elizabeth Gilbert says in Big Magic, “authenticity has quiet resonance that never fails to stir me. Just say what you want to say, then, and say it with all your heart.”

 

Lesson #6 – April 2024

Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more.

This is a lyric from a song that my kids were singing on repeat in April, and it really resonated with me. I found myself caught up in a lot of minutiae in my worklife this month, which felt constrictive and a little desperate. I did a lot of reflecting on my “why” and asked myself, “what would it look like to approach life from my highest power?” I wanted to take a page out of my kids’ book and tune into truth and child-like joy in order to find the wisdom of my adult self. Cue the aforementioned song lyric. Dance parties helped too. 

 

Lesson #7 – May 2024

10x is easier than 2x.

I was enveloped in this book by Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy this month. 10x is Easier Than 2x is a book about concepts you can apply to grow your business, and how going for 10x growth is actually easier and more doable than 2x. It seems counterintuitive, but this book took me by surprise in a personal sense more than anything. I explored my top 20% in my personal life, and strategized how to prioritize those things, while giving myself permission to ditch the other 80%. I’m not all the way to ditching the bottom four fifths of what takes up my time, but it’s a worthwhile endeavor. I love how the authors talk about wealth creation being a compilation of time, relationships, money and purpose. 

 

Lesson #8 – June 2024

Recognize and embrace your unique strengths, even without external validation.

This month I spent time reflecting on my “unique ability,” another concept from the book I mentioned in May’s lesson. Even when we aren’t getting external high fives or accolades, we always have a unique ability – each and everyone one of us. This exercise may feel a little egotistical, but it is meant to help remind you of what you’re made of. It doesn’t imply that you shouldn’t try to improve your weaker muscles, but rather, not to let them take up more air time than your strengths. When you focus on maximizing your exceptional qualities, you will go further than trying to slightly improve across a wide range of areas, where you’ll theoretically be just OK at a bunch of stuff instead of exceptional at a few things. 

 

Lesson #9 – July 2024

Before our inner critics got so big, we were born with unbridled love.

This came to me the night before my son’s fifth birthday. Since the day he was born, he opened me up to so much love, kindness, and faith that I didn’t know was possible. It sounds cliche… and a little nauseating, I admit, but cliches are cliches for a reason I suppose! Reflecting on his uniqueness, particularly his unbridled love, made me begin to question when we start to lose that natural instinct. I prayed that nothing would ever happen to make him dim that light, and in doing so was reminded that we all have this light. What would it take to amplify that light in me regularly? How can I be more like George?

 

Lesson #10 – August 2024

It’s ok not to have all the answers.

I said goodbye to my shadow of 12 years, my dog Nacho. In addition to practicing my own healthy grieving, I was pushed to my depths of holding space, as my kids were devastated by the loss. The loss, which also propelled hundreds of questions around death and faith. I so badly wanted to fix this for them and take on their pain, but this was an exceptional lesson for all of us in the importance of sitting with discomfort. I wanted to give them some sort of certainty or timeline of what they’d feel next, but I simply didn’t know, and I had comfort in knowing that that was ok. Presence with the discomfort is the only way through. 

 

This passage from poet, yung pueblo, resonated with me this month: “Down moments will try to make you forget how much you have actually accomplished. You have overcome too much to let heavy emotions confuse you. Stop listening to the noise and ground yourself in the fact that storms do not last forever.” 

 

Lesson #11 – September 2024

When in doubt, go back to the basics.

This month was full of life with our first-ever THH Retreat, closing on a new home, surviving back to school, launching a mobile app, my 14th wedding anniversary, my hubby’s bday, my daughter turning seven, and the realization that there’s no turning back time. I felt myself teetering on overwhelm in September, and found comfort in going back to the basics. I grounded myself time and time again with the following questions: How am I feeling right now? What is my 20% What felt good today? Who am I? What is my why?

 

On the flight to our retreat, I worked through The Happy Hour’s Core Value exercise for the umpteenth time, to reground myself on what was important in that particular season of life. It was a helpful reminder of what I wanted to embody during those intense few days facilitating deep personal discovery with the retreat participants. While at the retreat, I bought a book by Alexandra Elle, called How We Heal, that started off with an inspiring “fill in the blank” exercise that I’ll share below. 

 

The magic that happened during the retreat felt like the start of a new chapter. I’m not entirely sure why, but that was the feeling I had. I’m trusting my gut enough to go with it. 

 

Ten Reasons Why I Heal (Alexandra Elle)

I am healing because I want…

I am healing because I need…

I am healing because I deserve…

I am healing because I feel…

I am healing because I see…

I am healing because I love…

I am healing because my…

I am healing because I am…

I am healing because I can…

I am healing because I choose…

 

Lesson #12 – October 2024

Embrace the gift of slowing down to listen within.

After the retreat in September, I felt renewed with positive energy and started thinking about my upcoming year. The last year in my 30s. My hope for this year is to show up fully as an adult, without holding back because of worry or “shoulds,” and to live fully in my authentic presence that has come out of her shell in the last 5 years…to let that be my home, my comfort zone, my beacon. 

 

I started pulling Animal cards (almost) daily, to help ignite self reflection, an idea one of my beloved clients introduced me to on our retreat. Against the odds, I pulled “Lamb” and “Owl” on six out of the 21 days that I pulled cards. Btw, there are 78 cards total, if you want to do the math. The themes of each of these cards are as follows:

  • “Lamb” – Peaceful, prophetic, patient
  • “Owl” – Abundance, clairvoyant, treasures

 

These were timely reminders as I walked into my 40th year of life. I feel like life is just beginning.

Reclaiming the “New School Year” Feeling as an Adult

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It’s that time of year, school has returned. As I look around and see parents and children start to prepare to go back, it makes me nostalgic for that experience. Remember the excitement of a new school year? The thrill of a fresh start, the promise of new opportunities, the joy of recommitting to goals, and the simple pleasure of new clothes? As adults, our lives often follow a continuous rhythm without those clear markers for renewal. However, it’s entirely possible to recreate that invigorating “new school year” feeling. Here’s how:

 

1. Embrace the Power of a Fresh Start

Even though we don’t get a structured “new year” like in school, we can create our own fresh starts. Pick a day, month, or new quarter to take a step back, evaluate your goals, and set new intentions. This could be the perfect time to start a new project, pick up a new hobby, or even make a career shift. By regularly giving yourself permission to start anew, you create that same sense of anticipation and possibility.

 

2. Set Clear, Achievable Goals

As kids, we had clear goals for the school year—getting good grades, making new friends, or participating in an extracurricular activity. As adults, our goals can sometimes become vague. To reignite that sense of achievement, set specific, measurable goals for yourself. Whether it’s learning a new skill, improving your fitness, or doing something outside your comfort zone, having clear objectives gives you something exciting to work toward. 

 

3. Refresh Your Environment

Remember how a new backpack or school supplies made you feel ready to tackle the year? You can do the same now by refreshing your environment. Whether it’s redecorating your workspace, reorganizing your home, or treating yourself to a new outfit, changing your surroundings can have a powerful psychological impact. This small act can make you feel renewed and ready for new challenges.

 

4. Invest in Self-Development

Just as the school year was a time for learning and growth, make personal development a priority in your adult life. Sign up for a course, attend a workshop, or dive into a book on a topic that interests you. The act of learning something new can reignite that sense of curiosity and excitement that comes with the start of a new school year. Remember it’s never too late to learn something new!

 

5. Create a New Routine

The structure of a school day gave a sense of order and accomplishment. As adults, our routines can become monotonous. Shake things up by creating a new daily or weekly routine that incorporates activities you’re passionate about. Whether it’s a morning meditation, a weekly creative session, or regular outdoor activities, a new routine can bring that sense of excitement back into your life.

 

6. Celebrate Your Progress

In school, we had report cards and awards to mark our achievements. As adults, it’s easy to forget to celebrate our successes. Make it a habit to acknowledge your progress regularly. This could be as simple as writing down what you’re proud of each week or treating yourself after reaching a milestone. Celebrating your achievements keeps you motivated and reminds you of how far you’ve come.

 

7. Revisit Your Childhood Passions

Finally, reconnect with what excited you as a child. Was it art, sports, writing, exploring the outdoors, or just simply getting lost in play? Revisiting these passions can evoke that youthful joy and enthusiasm. Integrating these activities into your adult life can make every day feel like a new adventure.

 

While we may not have the built-in marker of a new school year, we can still cultivate that fresh start feeling as adults. By setting goals, refreshing our environment, and investing in self-development, we can bring back the eagerness and possibilities that came with a new school year. Remember, there’s always an opportunity to start anew, grow, and celebrate your journey.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

 

If you’re looking for support and guidance as you navigate your “new school year”, or any other life transitions, Erin Kaminski, CHC can help you set goals, and provide you with the tools you need to thrive in your next chapter.

Book coaching with Erin here.



Building Healthy Habits for Mental Wellness

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You have probably seen or heard lots of different suggestions on what to do if you are feeling down, depressed or anxious. I.e. “go outside”, “exercise”, “journal”, etc. It can be frustrating when we know the things to do, however, we just can’t seem to do them. Or we struggle to do them consistently. If you have ever found yourself feeling frustrated for “falling off” of a healthy habit, this is for you! 

 

First- Identify the healthy habit you are wanting to start.

Make sure it is small, measurable, and reasonable. 

 

Second- Identify why this habit is important to you.

Make sure your answer to this is personal and bonus points if you can identify what value it is aligned with. Try to avoid your reason being “because it is good for you” or “because someone told me to”. Yes, these can be the initial reasons, however, if the only reason we are doing something is because we “should” we are not likely to stick with it. Try to dig deep and find a personal connection to this habit/action. For example, if your healthy habit is to journal daily 1 positive thing and 1 thing you struggled with from that day. You might connect this with your value of balance or value of gratitude. By connecting our habits with a value, we have more buy in to continue to engage in the healthy habit. Another option is to align your healthy habit with a larger goal you have. This could be exercising or training for a race.

 

Third- Identify what time of day you are most consistent.

For some of us, we are most consistent in the morning because we have a morning routine we engage in prior to work. If you have a more fluctuating or busy morning, you might find more consistency in your evening routine. Once you have identified the time of day you are most consistent, pair your new healthy habit with an already established routine. This could be when you take your vitamins or medicine, or when you wash your face in the evening before bed. 

 

Finally- Be realistic with yourself.

You are not going to engage in your healthy habit 100% of the time. It is important to remember you are human. If you are too black and white, you will not be successful. If you miss a day, give yourself grace and re-commit for the next day. If we beat ourselves up for missing a day and give up, we are going to stay stuck. 

 

Remember, building habits take time. The more you connect and align with your habits, the easier it is to stick with it. Don’t forget you can always go back to the drawing board. If a habit is not working for you, come back to this and try again. You may have picked something too big or not aligned fully with your values. Start small, stay mindful, and you will succeed!

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP. 

 

Amy Narusas, LCSW is drawn to helping clients process difficult events, find their meaning in life, heal from past experiences, and cope with anxiety, depression, and life transitions. She has a specialization in substance use and mental health and is trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

 

Book with Amy

The Practicality of Energy Work

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Hi, it’s Kim here, The Happy Hour’s Energy Practitioner. I am writing this blog to give you a practical take on how a session with me works. This is going to be pretty straightforward to outline how approachable energy work is, and its benefits to your overall health & well-being. 

 

First and foremost, schedule a session. All energy work offerings are posted on The Happy Hour website. You are also welcome to call to schedule. The first session is 75 minutes for the initial assessment to learn how the work can best benefit you. Follow-up sessions are typically 50 minutes. I find the 75 minute sessions are the sweet spot. 

 

In our first session together, we will discuss the intake form you filled out. The first session includes more talking with follow-ups generally being less. I try to limit our chat to 20 minutes for time on the table. Following our chat, you set an intention to guide the session.

 

Once on the table (fully clothed), I offer extra support (pillow, bolster or blanket) to aid in your comfort. I then assess your energy centers. I use a pendulum, which I often correlate to a doctor’s stethoscope. There are 7 main energy centers in my assessment to guide the techniques I utilize. I guide you through a short meditation and then administer the techniques. The techniques include light touch or touch over the body. It’s different from massage because I am not manipulating any tissue. 

 

Your job is to relax. Typically you will drift into a meditative space similar to before you fall asleep. Often you fall asleep, which is welcome. Once the session is complete, I guide you back to a wakeful state. We then have a short conversation to see how you are feeling. These conversations are beneficial as they often provide helpful insights that reinforce your intention. And that is it! 

 

The most common reaction to energy work is feeling deeply relaxed. In addition to energy work bolstering relaxation, it can also ease physical discomfort, produce clarity in a challenging situation, tune into intuition, and strengthen connection to something beyond our understanding. I am continually amazed by the outcomes. 

 

Energy work works best when you commit at least 3 months. I recommend a session every two weeks to start. Once a month for 6 months is another option. We will check-in following the initial start to determine a next course of action that feels best for you. My goal is to help you find the tools to implement when difficulties arise. Then energy work can be a lifeline for extra care and encouragement when needed.

 

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. I can be reached at: info@thehapppyhournash.com and you can book online here. I look forward to sharing this life changing practice with you.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

Surviving SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder

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It’s that time of year again…where the cold, cloudy weather day after day seems to go on forever. When it’s time to start the day, you realize you have no motivation to get out of your cozy, warm bed. And later, you’re convinced it’s time for bed, but then realize it’s only 4:30pm.  As wonderful as this time of year can be, for many, it is a season for feeling down, depressed, and blue.

 

If you’re feeling this way, there’s a good chance you may be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). SAD shares many many similarities with a diagnosis of depression, but is seasonal dependent, striking people around the same time each year, late fall/winter months. While it’s uncommon, some people do experience SAD in the summer months (called summer pattern SAD). If you are someone who is impacted, you’re not alone, about 5% of people in the United States experience SAD.

 

Scientists believe that SAD is caused by biochemical imbalances in the brain prompted by shorter daylight hours and less sunlight in the winter months. Also, as seasons change, people experience a shift in their biological internal clocks (or circadian rhythm) that may cause them to be out of step with their daily schedule. Sunlight impacts our serotonin levels, which directly impacts our moods. (Can you start to see a pattern?) For most people, SAD lasts about 40% of the year! That is a large part of a year not feeling your best.

 

So what are the typical symptoms of SAD?

  • Feeling sad or having a depressed mood.
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed.
  • Changes in appetite; usually eating more and craving carbohydrates or sugar.
  • Change in sleep; usually sleeping more.
  • Loss of energy or increased fatigue (despite increased sleep hours).
  • Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., inability to sit still, pacing) or slowed movements or speech.
  • Social withdrawal.
  • Feeling worthless or guilty.
  • Difficulty thinking, concentrating, or making decisions.
  • Thoughts of death or suicide. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

 

The good news is there are a lot of options to support yourself when SAD occurs

  • Just like depression, SAD can be treated with both therapy and medications to help reduce symptoms.
  • Light therapy for as little as 30 minutes, can help encourage your brain to reduce the production of melatonin (hormone that makes you tired) and increase the production of serontin (hormone that affects your mood).
  • Vitamin D supplementation can impact mood, anxiety, and overall health.
  • Dawn simulators (devices that product light gradually like the sun) have shown to support people with SAD.
  • Essential oils like lavender, bergamot, and lemon could lessen symptoms by influencing the areas of the brains that is responsible for controlling moods and body internal clock.
  • It’s also important to stay consistent with a routine (same bedtimes, regular balanced meals, exercise/movement).
  • Take a look at your workplace set up. Are there ways to include more light? Also don’t forget to get out and move!
  • Reconstruct your thoughts about this time of year. How can you change your story around winter? Find ways you can appreciate the season. By identifying what you like, you can begin to create new pathways in the brain that are negative prone to positive.
  • Use affirmations to stay in the present moment and get you on the path to a more positive mindset. The more you repeat them to yourself, the more you will believe it.

Need a recommendation for a dawn simulator or essential oil? Check out our Amazon Storefront.

 

It’s important to note that SAD is not the “winter blues”. If you suffer from SAD, you notice significant impairments on your daily life so its crucial to get treatment. If you need support, make sure to reach out to a professional to get the help you need.

 

To help prepare yourself for this season, take a few moments to journal and reflect:

  • What am I most excited for in this upcoming season?
  • Who am I grateful to have in my life?
  • What aspects of myself do I love?
  • If I begin to have one or more symptoms associated with SAD, what will be my action plan to get the treatment I need? Which tools listed above resonate most with me?

Need some more ideas? Check out this blog, where our team shares some of their tips for surviving the colder months.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

Sources:
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/seasonal-affective-disorder#:~:text=Light%20therapy%20and%20vitamin%20D,%2D%20and%20summer%2Dpattern%20SAD.
https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/seasonal-affective-disorder
https://www.everydayhealth.com/depression/treatment/ways-to-ease-seasonal-depression/
https://www.apa.org/monitor/feb06/sad

Four Cornerstones of Authentic Conversations

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I am a new mom.

 

The journey into motherhood has completely transformed my life in the most chaotic yet beautiful way imaginable. As I lean into this new chapter, I find myself evolving into a different person – the post-baby me. To be honest, I had underestimated just how challenging this transition would be. My responsibilities have shifted dramatically. Now, every facet of my life is meticulously organized on my calendar to prevent forgetfulness. I find myself with minimal ‘alone time,’ and I’ve had to temporarily set aside my own interests and hobbies simply because there just isn’t enough time in the day. Moreover, my desire for friendship is evolving and changing too. I am looking for connections with other new moms who share my experiences and emotions. I am looking for authentic and real conversations.

 

While I’ve managed to adapt to the demands of motherhood, becoming pretty solid in the tasks that come with it, I’m still navigating the art of forging deeper friendships. What I really want to say to other moms is this:

“Please hangout with me and maybe let’s talk about being moms and how wonderful and hard this all is and also maybe not talk about our kids for a while cause that is all I talk about these days”

 

I know, it comes off as a lot… Enter Nicole Cramer and the principles that I use from Exactly What To Say®. 

Authentic conversations, I’m learning, are built upon four fundamental cornerstones:

 

Identifying Our Critical Conversations:

First I need to identify who I was seeking out. Where could I find fellow new moms, and how could I establish a stronger connection with them?

 

Curiosity:

I realized that asking questions is a powerful way to disarm others and demonstrate genuine interest and investment in their stories. Authentic connections cannot be one-sided, where I simply unload my mom-woes on someone. I need to create space for their stories to be heard too. The best part, I can learn about myself by listening to others.

 

Empathy:

Empathy plays a crucial role in fostering connections. By empathizing with other moms, I acknowledge that our experiences are different but similar in so many ways. We are all struggling with so many different expectations, mom guilt, loneliness, and a general sense of feeling “Am I doing this right?” 

 

Curating the Flow of the Conversation with Questions, Not Responses:

I’ve come to understand that conversations should revolve around asking to connect. If this is not a cornerstone in your conversations, then you will likely be stuck in a surface level relationship. 

 

While I can’t claim to have mastered these principles just yet, I’m actively working on incorporating them into my everyday life. Their positive impact extends beyond conversations to various aspects of my life, including my professional relationships, family dynamics, and marriage. They’ve not only taught me the art of authenticity but have also allowed me to engage in conversations that I actually enjoy. 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Community Can Improve Your Life

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We often hear that community can improve your life, but what is community? Defined, community is a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common. It’s also defined as a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals. For me, it’s the second part of the definition that resonates the most. Being part of a community gives us a sense of belonging. It allows us to share, relate, and even grow as we connect with others and the surrounding environment.

 

Personally, I’ve always been a big community person. Moving from Phoenix to Nashville 13 years ago was a big shift. I went away from everything and everyone I knew to a completely new environment. My journey to building my community was a unique experience. I was fortunate enough to move into the 12th South neighborhood, that already had the infrastructure set up to support connections. With many coffee shops and restaurants, a park, easy places to walk, and local events/activities that encouraged the neighborhood to be out and about. In addition to where I lived, I also work for an organization that supports building healthy communities with Blue Zones Project. Looking at the Power 9 (lifestyle habits of the world’s healthiest, longest lived people) such as purpose, belonging, and right tribe, you can see how each interrelates to support health, but most importantly, a sense of community can improve your life. 

 

To build a community, you have to be comfortable in the uncomfortable at times. Putting yourself out there, participating and engaging with people and events that might be outside of your comfort zone. It’s also about consistency. Finding spots that resonate with you and showing up regularly to build those relationships. I can be a creature of habit going to the same coffee shops on the same days, going to the farmers market, local boutiques, grabbing a drink up the street, and attending a gym daily that has helped me form bonds with people I wouldn’t have normally met. I love knowing I’ll see the same barista on Wednesdays or seeing the owner of my favorite French wine bar, or see my fitness pals every morning at 6:45am. 

 

Having a sense of community embraces spirit, character, and pride. It is a feeling that people within the community matter to one another with a shared understanding that their needs can be met through commitment and togetherness. Being a part of a community makes us feel as though we are a part of something greater than ourselves.

 

Community is unique to each individual as to what and how it meets their needs based off their own definition. Regardless of what it is, it’s important and central to the human experience. 

 

Journal prompts to help you better understand and build your community and how this community can improve your life.

1)     How do you define community? Are you experiencing that today, if not why?

2)     What aspects about your community do you love and interest you? 

3)     What are ways you can build your community? 

4)     What are 3-5 actions you can take to become more integrated into your community? 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

Join Us for The Happy Hour Club

Starts April 19th

 

The Happy Hour Club. A new type of social club, open to anyone and built on our values of connection, honesty, vulnerability, curiosity and fun. Show up as your true self and connect authentically – this is not a networking group, no need to perform or be anyone but you!

The Happy Hour Club will meet twice a month, gathering at both the studio and for outings in our fun and beloved city. If you would like to connect with new and like-hearted people and are interested in exploring more opportunities in town, this is the place for you.

SAVE YOUR SPOT

Month-to-month payment upon request. Call the studio at 615-953-3934.

Last Minute Wellness Gifts

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If you haven’t finished your holiday shopping yet, we’re here to help with some last minute wellness gifts that are sure to make anyone on your list feel their best. If you have finished your shopping, you’re an organizational super hero and you deserve to treat yourself to a little pampering, so keep reading!

 

Gift Card to SOUND

Ann Sensing’s SOUND studio has so many great sound bath offerings for individuals, couples and groups of all sizes. If you’re looking to go deeper she also offers multi-dimensional healing. With gift cards to suit any budget, you can ensure the recipient will have an immersive and deeply relaxing experience.

 

Essential Oil from Thistle Farms

A great stocking stuffer or a little treat for yourself, the Balance essential oil from Thistle Farms is The Happy Hour’s signature scent for good reason. It’s a warm, centering blend of lemon, lavender and rose geranium. Available as a concentrate for a diffuser, or a roll on to keep in your purse for grounding in moments of frazzle – Trader Joes parking lot, anyone?

 

A Great Book – Bonus if you have a Book Club!

Our team has been so entertained and inspired by Matthew McConaughey’s ‘Greenlights’. This best-selling memoir teaches you how to identify and embrace the green lights in your life.

Bonus! Greenlights is our book club pick for January! With the guidance of Christa Booker, CHC, you’ll have the opportunity to examine and reflect on your own greenlights. Through guided discussion and coaching, we hope to help you see your past experiences as important lessons and your future as a set of greenlights you’ve yet to hit so that you can write your own love letter to life. A ticket to book club would make a great gift for your bookworm friend, someone new to town, or anyone looking for inspiration and community.

 

Bring the Outdoors Inside with a Plant

Both Gardens of Babylon and Flora have a wide range of plants and green gifts to clean your air, and bring a little cheer and nature into your space. Pro tip: Instead of a bunch of flowers, bring a small potted plant as a unique and long-lasting hostess gift.

 

Candles from Lemon Laine

Lemon Laine has a really great gift guide if you’re looking for some clean beauty. Our fave has to be the LOHN Holiday candle trio. We love scent for evoking a mood and sealing in memories. Seasonal candles are a great way to make your space feel festive, whether you’re entertaining, or snuggled up watching cheesy holiday movies.

 

Pampering with Little Indigo

A gift card for a facial with Emmy-nominated make-up artist and aesthetician, Sara Vaughn at Little Indigo is the ultimate treat! Insider tip: Gift cards are currently 10% off!

 

Gift Card to Pure Sweat Sauna

For some much needed relaxation and rejuvenation, gift the athlete, the man, or anyone with a tired body (aka everyone!) a sauna sesh at Pure Sweat Sauna Studio.

 

A Light Therapy Lamp

In our recent blog, our Medical Director, Dr. Frock, recommended using a light box from mid-September through February to help keep your mood and circadian rhythm in check. Perfect for anyone in your life who suffers from the winter blues or works long hours in an office.

 

Gift Card to The Happy Hour

Not just a shameless plug, our gift cards are a pretty perfect last minute wellness gift. They are available at a variety of price points and can be used on anything from our fun wellness events and workshops, to energy work, nutrition coaching, life coaching, and therapy. Our Intention Setting Workshop would make a great gift for a loved one, or yourself. After all, who doesn’t deserve an intentional and happy 2023?

 

 

 

12 Life Lessons from my 37th Trip Around the Sun

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I turned 37 on November 11th this year, surrounded by loved ones and filled with gratitude. Two days later, I went for a walk, and being all in my feels I flipped on Jay Shetty’s podcast “On Purpose.” And wouldn’t ya know it, after a few seconds of scrolling I landed upon his episode, “12 Lessons Learned in the Last 12 Months” written after his birthday reflection .  

 

Inspired, I decided to reflect back on my year of deep dives and journaling to uncover my 12 life lessons. These nuggets of insight from my inner thinking helped me grow this past year. A lot of them aren’t new, but continue to be lessons of which I need to remind myself. Here goes…

 

Life Lesson #1 – November 2021

Love is our nature. Connect with self, and connect with others. This returns us to love, our natural state.

This notion came from a meditation I listened to that got me thinking, what is the point of all of this without love? Not just romantic love, but loving yourself, loving your community, loving the people with whom you spend your days. We were born loving and trusting and relying on unspoken connection to keep us alive. It’s instinct…do what you can to return to it. 

 

Life Lesson #2 – December 2021

Depth brings you home to yourself.

This month tested me with the holidays and covid scares, and I certainly didn’t exhibit grace and love at all times. I’m a work in progress and always will be, but lessons have layers and growth isn’t linear. I found myself holding onto some superficial expectations of the holidays that when parallelled with some personal grief and anger, made it clear how much more rewarding depth is than surface stuff. You can rewrite patterns or rules or expectations if that’s what it takes to come home to yourself, but you’ve got to know what being true to yourself looks like. It’s not the same as what’s on Instagram or whatever your neighbor is doing. It takes deep diving, introspection and honesty…which also means letting go of a lot of “shoulds,” which this time of year is chock full of. 

 

Life Lesson #3 – January 2022

Don’t let your mind make your life harder on you than it needs to be.

As Franklin Roosevelt said, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s so true! January started off with a beautiful Intention Setting workshop, in which I determined my word for 2022 would be “Beacon.” I loved this word and it was a much needed reminder of how I wanted to show up every day. It was followed by my second round of Covid, lots of snow days, and a skeleton crew at the office because of the above. I held on to my intention to help me not get wrapped up in controlling the uncontrollable. We also kicked off our inaugural Whole You program, which involved me creating 90 days of content for 7 different individuals, and I learned SO DANG MUCH. It forced me to practice what I was preaching and it felt amazing. 

 

Life Lesson #4 – February 2022

By being yourself, you bring happiness to others.

I love being a coach so much. I love working with my clients on such a deep level, and walking alongside them through their growth, hardships, all of it. I really have to check myself to not try to be everything to everyone. February was filled with new programming, new clients, and opportunities. I constantly had to remind myself of this lesson, so I didn’t blast off with excitement and over-doing. And it turns out it was true. Pro tip- turn this lesson into an affirmation: “By being myself, I bring happiness to others.”

 

Life Lesson #5 – March 2022

Go inward, do the work, and you can put it back into the world 10-fold.

Ok, I PROMISE this isn’t just a giant pitch to work on your personal growth. But it’s really true how much more you can give to the world when you invest in yourself. So many people I talk to say they just want to make an impact on the world. But you can’t do that if you’re not giving to  yourself. This description from Kim Kran’s archetype The Mystic spoke to me this month: “It may seem the mystic is inward-facing, yet its light beams back to the world with the strength of a thousand stars.” Some old stuff got rattled up for me this month, but as we know, you do the work…and then you do it again. The stuff you healed comes back at a different angle, because you have grown, and you now are ready to heal on a deeper level and give back to the world with the strength of a thousand stars. Be the mystic.

 

Life Lesson #6 – April 2022

Creativity is crucial for moving through emotions.

Let’s just face it, life is hectic and pulls you in so many different directions. All of these directions have big experiences that can stir up big emotions. I learned that I absolutely, non-negotiably, must have an activity or something that is only for me. Only for my pleasure and enjoyment. Not for my family or my business. In April I took a Masterclass on poetry and it was such a beautiful way for me to express myself creatively, with zero pressure or price tag attached to whether or not it was good enough, in fact, I never shared any of it because it was all mine. It helped me make sense of and move through some of these big emotions coming through other areas of my life. 

 

Life Lesson #7 – May 2022

Find wonderment and always keep moving towards your passion.

This sort of piggybacks off lesson #6. This doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and go full-time on your passion project, but you’ve got to have a passion that can manifest as a hobby at least. We had a lot of ideas at The Happy Hour in May. Being new and still in a growth phase, we were excited to say “yes” and try out so many new things. This is fun and all, but it can easily become a hustle or a checking of a box, and it doesn’t feel good trying to do all the things. So we honed in on what we are passionate about, that’s what created this place afterall. 

 

Life Lesson #8 – June 2022

You can listen with your whole body.

In June I started training to become a Certified Sound Practitioner (it will be official December 21st!). I learned that listening is so much more than what you hear with your ears. I learned that sounds that used to drive me crazy, could actually be powerful, when listening with my whole body. I sat still a lot more than ever before. I stirred some big stuff up in therapy, and my therapist said, “what would it look like if stillness were the antidote to fear?” Whew. Still thinking about that one. 

 

Life Lesson #9 – July 2022

Community is medicine.

I went on a week-long trip with five of my best friends in July and it lifted me up more than I could’ve imagined. One of my favorite memories was a car-ride to a hike that was a couple hours away. We belly-laughed the whole time and were completely tuned into our childlike wonder and silliness. It felt rejuvenating to be totally free and not so serious. I don’t think that feeling could’ve emerged in me without that community in which I feel completely free. 

 

Life Lesson #10 – August 2022

Don’t plan anything extra in August.

Tactical, yes, but August was a circus. Back to school and allll the events that go along with it (I’ve only had kids in school for the covid-era, so I wasn’t used to all this stuff), 3 year old son’s birthday party, planning hubby’s 40th birthday trip, sound bath training, planning 5 year old daughter’s birthday party, fabulous Mom’s Night Out event at work, oh and giving a presentation to 200 people for a little company called Google…plus all the day-to-day-stuff. P.S. – Google – if you want to plan something in August, I’m all ears ;-). 

 

Life Lesson #11 – September 2022

Alone time is non-negotiable.

No surprise that this one came through loud and clear in September as a result of August for this introverted, highly sensitive gal. Without alone time, all the noise blocks the ability to be clear for me. I started leading the Discover Your True North course in September, and gosh do I love groups so much (remember, community is medicine). Being a facilitator of these groups requires clarity and transparency, and thus so much alone time. 

 

Life Lesson #12 – October 2022

Slowness remembers and hurry forgets.

I gotta give credit to Mark Nepo for that line, but it rang through my head all throughout October…and still is, to be honest. Remember what the heart and body want, i.e. what feels good versus only considering what your thinking mind is telling you to be the answer. Your mind wants you to rush, it’s what it has become accustomed to. Put down the phone, let your mind slow down, take a step back and remember the bigger picture that is so hard to see amidst hurry. 

 

Want to work on your personal growth?

The Whole You program is designed to meet you where you are and catapult your growth and your total wellness. With the dedicated support of a Certified Holistic Coach, a Registered Dietitian and and Energy Practitioner, Whole You will kick start your 90-day lifestyle evolution.

LEARN MORE HERE

From Dr. Frock’s Desk: Surviving the Holidays

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In our new series, From Dr. Frock’s Desk, we sit down with Dr. Frock to gain a psychiatrist’s perspective, anecdotes, and tools on a variety of topics. This month, we are talking about surviving the holidays: how to navigate the stress that the holidays can bring.

 

What kind of things seem to cause stress around the holidays?

To start, traveling is hard. If you’re part of a big family, you might find yourself spending a lot of time in a confined space with people you don’t have the best relationships with. The obligation to attend large family reunions or gatherings with people you don’t stay in close contact with, and whose values may differ from yours, can bring a lot of dynamics into play and bring up emotional triggers for everyone involved.

In addition, the holidays are a time that most of us associate with family, so it becomes hard not to think about those who aren’t with us anymore. This can raise a lot of grieving emotions on top of what has already been mentioned. 

 

Over the holidays, it seems that feelings can be magnified for those who are having a hard time.

Absolutely. Think about the habits that make up your baseline that are being disrupted; from traveling, to changes in your sleep patterns, to eating and drinking differently, to not exercising as much as usual. 

In addition to the grief aspect I’ve already mentioned, I also find that folks tend to get a lot of anticipatory anxiety as the holidays approach. We can’t help but think about disagreements that emerged in the past and the likelihood they could happen again. 

 

Do you have some tips to help cope with all of that during the holidays?

Setting clear boundaries for family gatherings can be a great way to minimize conflict and emotional triggers. Like no politics, religion or money, and being clear about conversations or activities you’re not willing to engage in. We can also set boundaries for ourselves – consciously remembering that we can choose what to get upset about. You know Uncle John is going to say some crazy stuff, but you can choose whether you want to light that fire with him or not.

Also find ways to anchor yourself by taking care of your baseline self-care. If you’re a runner, bring some cold gear with you and make that run happen. 

 

Can you tell us about S.A.D., what it stands for, what to look out for, and any strategies to help cope with it?

S.A.D. stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. “Seasonal” is what it sounds like. “Affective” is just a more academic way of speaking about someone’s mood. And then “disorder” implies that it’s a diagnosable condition. 

We go from summer where the light is bright, we’re outside doing active things, to fall where it starts getting cold out, the sun is setting earlier, and you’re getting legitimately less sunlight in the fall and winter months. So it starts in September and builds for a few months, and can become something like an actual condition with symptoms including: like feeling less motivated, changes in appetite (often eating more), being less active and feeling sluggish, and not enjoying things that we used to. 

Nashville is very unique in that it’s the furthest east major metropolitan area in the Central Time zone, so we can really be affected by S.A.D. In fact, there is a strong argument to be made that we should be in the Eastern Time zone. In the winter, the sun starts setting before 4pm, which leaves most office workers not getting enough sunlight and it can cause a vitamin D deficiency. This is actually much more significant in Nashville than in other places I’ve worked.

Fortunately, it’s very treatable. There are some medication options, folks can also find some benefit with Vitamin D supplementation, and using a light box from mid-September through February can be helpful for many people. Using the light box can trick out brains into thinking we are actually getting more sunlight than there is outside.  

 

Key takeaways for surviving the holidays with minimal stress:

  • Try to keep to your routine as much as possible. 
  • Set clear boundaries with yourself and others.
  • Get outside in the sun as much as possible.
  • Know that you’re not the only one struggling.
  • Give yourself some grace.