Category Archives: Wellness

Social Distancing Survival 101

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The other morning I walked into my local coffee shop, ordered my usual, plus a bag of beans to make coffee at home. This is a really normal thing to do, but I felt a pang of sadness and fear as I placed my order. You see, every morning, I walk my dog and we end our walk at this little gem of a coffee shop. As someone who lives alone, there’s a sense of family when you see a familiar face every day who knows your name, and just how you like your coffee. I didn’t realize quite how important this daily ritual was to me, until I was faced with placing my last order for the next few weeks.

Asking fellow regulars to please not pet my dog (in case he ends up carrying the virus on his fur) felt like I was rejecting them on his behalf. I felt guilty. But that feeling quickly turned to relief as they elbow bumped me in solidarity, vowing to catch up over coffee and shower extra love on my pup when this is over. Suddenly, that feeling of community I was scared of losing came rushing back, because never before have I felt more like we’re all in this together.

As I walked home, I started panicking again, realizing that I touched the card machine with the same hand that was carrying my bag of coffee beans. I made a mental note to wipe the bag with alcohol when I got home. Shit! I just touched my face… There’s nothing like a viral pandemic to make you realize just how much you touch your face. After running the gamut of emotions, I returned home feeling mentally exhausted… and weirdly dirty. I just wanted to roll around in sanitizer and crawl into bed until this is all over.

Our community has been through a lot lately, and while there’s definitely been some good in between all the bad, I’ve found myself frustratedly yelling to my empty apartment, “Can I just get a break?”. When I’m stressed or scared, I tend to lean in to humor, so I turn to social media and laugh at the memes. Then I see the news and go back to feeling heartbroken and scared. But then I see the videos of Italian neighbors singing together from their windows, working out together on their balconies and my heart swells at how beautiful and resilient the human spirit is.

While watching the Italians rally together in impossible circumstances, I made the decision then and there not to cry myself to sleep in a vat of hand sanitizer, but instead to use the extra time on my hands for good, and to seek new ways to stay positive and connected to my community while social distancing.

Social Distancing Goals. Image source: https://www.instagram.com/issyrider/

Social Distancing Goals.
Image source: https://www.instagram.com/issyrider/

First Things First: Self-Care

Now is not the time to cancel any therapy or coaching sessions. Remember the coffee buying emotional roller coaster that I mentioned? Yeah. Just because it’s very normal to feel sad, scared, and all over the place in this kind of extreme situation, doesn’t mean we won’t benefit a lot by talking it out over the phone. Our team at The Happy Hour has been working hard on bringing you some virtual events over the coming weeks to help you find community and support during this unsettling time. So watch this space!

I contacted my trainer, told him what limited equipment I had at home, and asked if we could do Skype training sessions instead. I’m the kind of person who relies heavily on working out for keeping me sane. I experience stress very physically and I need an outlet – especially now. By keeping my same training time, it keeps me in my usual routine, and the virtual interaction allows me to maintain the social aspect of my training, all of which helps to keep things feeling somewhat normal in these very abnormal times.

Proper nutrition is the foundation of good health, so I made a list of the kind of things known to help with immunity (think berries, citrus, garlic, turmeric, bone broth, lots of leafy greens & colorful veggies) that I could meal prep and freeze in order to limit my trips to the grocery store. I’m a bit of a foodie, and the likes of ramen noodles and canned tuna would get depressing fast, so I got creative. Spoiler alert: there’s a lot of nutritious soups and tagines in my future, and I’m not complaining!

I’ve set limits for the amount of social media and news I’m consuming. Because for every funny meme, there’s a scary news clip, and I don’t need to stress myself out unnecessarily going down the rabbit hole of doom. That’s not to say I’m sticking my head in the sand – I religiously check reputable sources like the WHO and CDC twice a day to make sure I’m up to date. But the rest of the day it’s remote work with my amazing team, and Schitt’s Creek… again.

I took a cue from The Happy Hour’s co-founder, Clara, and decided to channel my emotions into this blog post. And you know what? It feels damn good. If you haven’t written down your feelings over the last few weeks, I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Socialize Creatively

As someone who’s moved around a fair bit, I have friends all over the world. Never before have all of our social calendars been clear at the same time, so you bet I’m scheduling FaceTime dates ASAP! Who says our social lives have to suffer? We might be physically distancing ourselves, but with technology, there’s no reason not to connect socially. In fact, it’s crucial not to isolate ourselves in times of stress.

If your gym or yoga studio isn’t holding online classes, why not get a group of friends together over Skype and take turns leading different kinds of workouts? It’ll keep you active, accountable and social (and probably laughing), without needing to leave your home. If you are able to safely do your workout outdoors, even better. A little fresh air is good for the mind, body and soul.

Community

It’s times like these that our small businesses need us more than ever. I’ve made a point of placing orders with local farms that are offering delivery/drop off services. Keep your eyes on social media to see who’s currently open, as it changes daily. Supporting local businesses helps put food on their tables and keeps the economy chugging along. Next on my list is to get a couple of gift cards for things like yoga studios, nail salons and restaurants to help keep them afloat over the next few weeks – and to give myself something to look forward to once social distancing is over.

If you know of any elderly people, or other immune compromised people in your neighborhood, why not call them up and ask if you can pick up their prescriptions, or get them some food next time you do a grocery run? Make it easy for them to stay home and stay safe.

Also, don’t forget local non-profits. So many people (and animals) were displaced during the tornado, and social distancing and perfect hygiene might not be luxuries they can achieve right now. Continued donations of money or wish list items can make a world of difference, especially in areas hit harder by the tornado like North Nashville and Mount Juliet.

Work from Home

No, that’s not an oxymoron! A big part of keeping things feeling normal-ish for me is sticking to my routine as much as I can. It’s so easy to slip into working from bed, which then turns into Netflix over lunch & next thing you know you haven’t left your bed in days & it’s full of crumbs. Ew David! (Have I mentioned I’m watching a lot of Schitt’s Creek?)

I find setting an alarm and making my bed helps me start my day with purpose. Getting dressed is also key. Simply switching from pjs to leggings & a cozy sweater helps signal to your mind that you mean business, comfy business.

I have also created a dedicated work space in the corner of my living room. This space allows me to get in the zone and focus without distractions, but also allows me to “leave the office” at the end of the day. Just because you’re working from home, doesn’t mean that your work should creep into your down time.

Gratitude

Be thankful for our heroes. Of course that will always include our troops, first responders and doctors, but in these strange times, the people working checkout counters, making deliveries, and taking away your trash are also putting themselves at risk for you. A small gift card could lift their spirits and help their family more than you know. Heck, even a heartfelt “thank you” can go a long way these days.

It can sound trite to suggest gratitude at a time of so much uncertainty, sadness and fear, but if you and your loved ones are healthy, you have a lot to be thankful for right now. I’ve accepted that it is normal to feel ungrounded right now. That it’s okay to be cheerfully catching up with friends one minute and feeling tearful the next. But ultimately, I’m grateful.

I’m grateful for my health. I’m grateful for my sweet dog, Enzo, who’s the best snuggle buddy when I feel scared. I’m grateful to be able to work remotely. And I’m so grateful for the inspiration and hope that has been instilled in me by my own community, and people around the globe who have found connection and moments of joy in this difficult time. Our spirit is stronger than this.

Growing Through the Setbacks: My Journey to Spirituality

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– Writers Note –

I wrote this blog post 1.5 hours before the tornado swept through Nashville on March 3rd. The devastation that this tornado has caused for our beloved community has left many of us heartbroken and continues to put things into perspective. While this ‘setback’ I talk about in this blog is miniscule compared to what so many are going through right now, I still wanted to share because it is a reminder that no matter how big or small your feelings are right now and always, that they are valid. That you can’t heal without feeling them in their entirety. That you can’t heal without looking them in the face and asking some questions. Maybe those questions are what do I need to be supported right now? Who can I lean on for support right now? How can I support others while still caring for myself right now? Or maybe the starting point is simply asking, how am I feeling right now? 

Whether the unimaginable happened and you lost a home or loved one; you experienced extreme terror while holding your babies tight as the destructive winds whipped by you, and are now reliving the “what ifs,”; or you are bearing witness to your beloved community try to rebuild what has been broken, your feelings are yours, they are valid, and they are important. 

Deep breath.

It finally happened – the dreaded set back. I debated whether to share this piece of my journey with you because if you’ve found a nugget of inspiration somewhere along the way, I don’t want you to lose motivation. Then I realized that this actually may be the most crucial part of the journey to publish. Why? Because not only can life take a zig or a zag, but it will. Looking back on it, these bumps have so clearly been part of the path that was meant for me. But that’s the thing I’ve learned about your ‘path’ lately, is that if you can see it perfectly laid out in front of you, it’s not for you.

Things had felt so good since I started to really get curious, and open myself to creativity, authenticity, and in a word, spirituality. The rewards had been incredible, and I thought I had this spirituality thing down-pat. Then, one Saturday morning, my old friend fear knocked on the door and barged back into my life. I’m happy to say its stay was short, but definitely not without hardship.

Life had been especially hectic for a few weeks, and after having been pretty proud of how gracefully I was handling it, I finally cracked. I finally stopped trying too hard to do “the work” because I was so.damn.tired. I just let myself feel grumpy, I took off my kindness filter when speaking to my loved ones, and was simply not anywhere close to the best version of myself. I felt it, I knew it, but I couldn’t stop it. I was just too tired.

As a result, I took one too many verbal jabs towards my husband and lost my cool with my kids, who had been trading back and forth colds for a month that finally turned into ear infections (sick kids = no sleep). It’s not like they wanted any of that, but at one point in the midst of echoing screams from both kids, I sat down on the floor, plugged my ears, and I too, screamed. I completely lost my patience, my compassion, and my gratitude. This angry, annoyed feeling lingered throughout the whole weekend. And it scared the shit out of me.

Yes I didn’t like that I was acting like a child, but worse was thinking that maybe I was a fake. Or maybe this amazing connection and gratitude had only been fleeting. I had been reaping so many rewards from my spiritual journey, and sharing them publicly! And there I was on the bathroom floor screaming, so that I couldn’t hear my kids melting down. Where was my angel then? Had I made the whole thing up? Would that amazing feeling ever come back?

I briefly lost trust in myself and what I’d been feeling so strongly. I longed desperately for the peace and calm that I had felt for the past couple months. Now that I knew what it felt like, I missed it deeply.

The thing that I’m learning about fear is that when you let it in without putting it in its place, it can spiral into something even bigger. In addition to being scared about being a spiritual imposter, there was an even bigger fear lurking in the background. Something I hadn’t been the slightest bit worried about in months, but once I opened the door to misalignment and worry, this even bigger fear came waltzing right in. Something I haven’t yet talked about yet in this forum, but here goes.

Shortly after the birth of my son I was diagnosed with Postpartum Depression. The scariest part about that diagnosis for me was that I had no idea. I spend my life helping people work on their mental health, and I didn’t know what was going on with my own for that time. I hadn’t felt quite right, but I went to the doctor for follow ups and because the computerized test that screens for PPD didn’t flag me as having it, I just assumed I had the “Baby Blues,” though I’m not sure there’s really a difference. As my therapist put it, they’re all along the same spectrum. Long story short, after following a combination of self-care methods, I felt like myself again consistently for 4 months or so. And even more recently, not just ‘like myself,’ but really really amazing.

Having been on the other side of this set back for a couple weeks, it was so much smaller than I made it out to be. I was exhausted and lost my cool for a few days, but when you’re exhausted and losing your shit, it’s really hard to realize that.

On the fourth night or so of feeling like this I was laying in bed exhausted, but my mind was racing too quickly to sleep. Ugh, back to my old ways again. The thought of that just made my mind race even faster! I composed myself and made a mental list out what was going on inside of me. I realized that all of my actions were stemming from fear. I just started a blog called “Turning Fear into Curiosity,” I am so full of it…wait, actually, I have an idea, let’s try something.

I got out of bed and did what I had just told people helped  me so much – I started writing. I wrote out my feelings, my fears, all of it. Half way through the page I decided to make things a bit more literal, and turn this thought process into a framework. You can take the girl out of corporate America, but the girl will still be obsessed with frameworks.

I created a table with four columns: “Fear,” “→,” “Curiosity,” “Takeaway”. It wasn’t perfect or pretty, but it made sense to me. And damn did it feel good. Putting my fear down on paper, giving it a name, and asking it and myself a question or two made everything feel manageable. And best of all, in a quick 10 minutes, I let go of all the fear I had been feeling about being a fraud, my spirituality being gone, and my PPD coming back. Just by turning my fear into curiosity, instead of combativeness, I was able to make the fear so miniscule that I laid my head down on the pillow afterwards and went right to sleep. Holy cow, the mind is so powerful.

Below is an example of what I wrote. I invite you to use this simple framework, change it up how it works for you, but most importantly maybe try asking your fear some questions. I’m curious to see what happens.

Full disclosure, there were more fears filling out the table in the actual one, some things are just TMI, sorry.

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At the end of this exercise I came to the conclusion this was all a test, a part of my journey, me making my path. It was also a reminder not to put too much pressure on any one thing. Life gets messy at times, and sometimes you have to sit in the icky feelings until you’re ready to ask them the right questions. Prior to this I had a hard time figuring out what it was about this spirituality that I loved so much. Was I in love with the idea of it? When I felt the brief absence of it, I could so easily describe what it was that I was missing: peace, security, gratitude, connection. This setback only strengthened my commitment to this never-ending journey, and I’m happy to report that this phase has in-fact passed, and I am not a spiritual fraud.

The Breakthrough: My Journey to Spirituality

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I like to think it was divine timing that introduced me to Kim Breese and her gifts with Healing Touch. A dear friend excitedly told me about her back in 2019, gave me her card, and told me I had to call her, we had so much in common! Kim’s business card sat on my desk for six months or so, staring at me, making me wonder what ‘HTP’ even meant (Healing Touch Practitioner for those, like I was, too lazy to google). One day in January I decided to send her an email. Before I could do that, I found an email in my inbox from my friend with the subject line “Kim <> Clara Intro.” This also happened to be the very same week I decided to kick off my spiritual journey.

It’s almost like the universe was just waiting for us to connect until I was in the right place to receive, because had I approached this practice with a different mindset, I’m not sure I would’ve reaped the benefits that I have. I’m sure I would’ve gotten a lot out of it, but I probably wouldn’t have been ready to hear the message that was heading towards me loud and clear.

After finally meeting with Kim over coffee, I emphatically booked a session with her. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew I was looking forward to an hour of getting horizontal and closing my eyes, and if I was lucky maybe I’d even doze off for a little bit.

We started the session with a few questions and an exploration of how I felt emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I rated each one of those from 1 to 10. This was a really simple and effective check in. I’ve been incorporating this tool into my own coaching practice.

Now it was time for the good stuff! I got to lay down on a heated table with a pillow under my head, and a blanket over my body. Bring on nap time. Or so I thought.

The session began with Kim waving a pendulum over my body to understand which chakras were compromised. She referred to this as her ‘stethoscope,’ to help her identify which of her tools to use in our session. That was a really cool analogy for someone new to the “woo,” who hadn’t done this sort of thing before.

After that, we began with some guided meditation, which got me out of my head and into my body. I am an overthinker whose mind does its best racing while in silent stillness, so to be able to quiet my mind was an excellent start. The session would’ve been a win if it had ended right there.

Around 15 minutes in, I was existing somewhere between a dream and a light meditation when I saw something. I saw a person on a mountain top, blowing a kiss over a cliff in my direction. My instant question was, “to whom am I blowing a kiss?” Then I realized it wasn’t me blowing the kiss, but rather someone blowing a kiss to me. I was certain of that.

A few minutes went by and I continued to relax. Any thoughts that came up floated right by. All of a sudden I noticed two people staring at each other with pure love and pride in their eyes. It was bursting out of their very being. Then I saw what they were so proud of – a newborn baby nestled in the woman’s arms. Upon further inspection, I realized that the woman was my mom, and the man was my dad, aged about 30 years. The same age they were when they had me.

At this point I was emotionally moved, feeling the love, and thinking this was pretty cool, but…was I just dreaming? I didn’t want to overthink it. My time was coming to an end, and with my eyes closed, I noticed that Kim had stepped away from the table. At that time, I also noticed what felt like a huge burst of white light and warmth on my chest. It almost felt like someone had turned on a flood light directly above me. It felt like I was being wrapped in a giant hug. It felt like comfort, protection, and a subtle smile. I recently read about auras and the meaning of their different colors, and told myself I’d look up what the white color meant when I left.

Soon thereafter Kim told me it was time to start awakening my body, so that I could get up and go about my day, even though I really didn’t want to. Without saying much Kim mentioned that she felt I was receiving strong messages of love…that I am so deeply loved. Chills. This explained the kiss from the woman on the cliff and the pride beaming from my 30-year old parents over the newborn me.

As I sat up on the table getting ready to re-enter the world, Kim confidently and quietly mentioned, “By the way, when you were laying there at the end, I saw a huge angel hovering over you.”

Um, WHAT? That’s what that white light was? That giant hug? It wasn’t just some suggestion to look up an aura? Wow. The only response I could muster up was a stream of tears. I felt it…I really felt it. I felt it at the exact time she said she saw it. It was undeniable and indescribable.

All night, all week, all month I couldn’t stop thinking about this experience. Rocking my son to bed that night, I was smiling ear to ear. I felt like I was passing this joy, completeness, and warmth that filled my heart into his heart. I felt that I was right where I was supposed to be. That everything has happened for a reason. In a word, I felt gratitude.  In a previous post, I noted how I defined spirituality in the beginning of this quest, as “a connection to something bigger that brings me to a state of gratitude.” It feels like I’m there, even though I know I’m just scratching the surface of what’s possible.

A few weeks have passed since this experience, and it has become my touchstone. It is the feeling with which I begin and end my day. It is my new baseline. When I’m not feeling that warmth, light, and connection, I quickly evaluate what’s going on and what I need to do to get back there. It is the touchstone that brings me to gratitude every day. The touchstone that I talk to throughout the day. That helps me stay present enough to pay attention to the little messages as they come and go. Because there are so many, and they are so beautiful, and they bring me so much joy. It has been THE breakthrough in my spiritual journey. It is what broke me open to this whole spiritual world, and has me chomping at the bit to continue exploring and feeding this curiosity.

Through many challenges and surprises that have arisen recently, I still feel supported, loved, and protected. It feels comforting, for lack of a better word, knowing that I have an angel by my side through it all. Just typing that gives me the warm and fuzzies. Yes, I have an angel.

Waves of Gratitude and a Psychic Reading: My Journey to Spirituality

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When a mentor of mine first encouraged me to blog about my journey to finding spirituality, I tried to look for reasons to say no. Not only because it had been so long since I had written, but also because I was worried that I wasn’t going to have the time to do these big spiritual activities let alone write about them. I had imagined that the stops along this spiritual path were all going to be huge, time consuming endeavors. It’s so funny to me now how so much of what I was doing was being motivated by saving time (and yes, fear). Nevertheless, I decided to consider it, and did what I did best at the time – made a to-do list, detailing exactly when and how I was going to approach each of these activities. Yes, I made a to-do list of how I was going to find spirituality. ::facepalm::

The things on my list were “big,” meaning time consuming and expensive. I knew a routine like this wasn’t sustainable, but I was so excited and curious about what I might find, that I started off aggressively. Having already whizzed through the first half of my list, I’ve been pleasantly surprised that often the biggest change has come from the small things. The really doable things that I’d been putting off because I didn’t believe something so easy could have such a profound impact.

Before I jump into the power I’ve found in small changes, let’s talk about a “big thing,” because let’s be honest they are super fun and interesting. A Psychic Reading was always something I wanted to try, but had allowed fear to stop me. Fear told me that a psychic may predict something horrible and out of my control. Fear also asked me what would happen if I started to truly believe in this metaphysical stuff? I’ve always felt a deep sense of intuition, but haven’t listened to it. Maybe I was scared to think about what might change in my life if I became a true believer. This time around, curiosity swooped in to save the day…what’s the best that could happen? I set boundaries with myself that for this first reading I would take everything with a grain of salt, and not make it such a big deal. It was a really cool feeling because I was walking into something completely new with pure excitement instead of my usual intense nerves.

I had no idea what to expect, but the psychic was warm and unintimidating, while confident and matter of fact. We started with an astrological reading based on my birthday, and then she pulled out a deck of tarot cards to “see what was coming up” for my family, me, and my business. A lot of what she said resonated, but most importantly brought me into a state of presence and self-reflection.

Some of the concepts she brought up were so specific and spot on that it made me start to trust that everything is more connected than I once thought. I shed some tears when she brought up some things that I too had been feeling so strongly in my gut, but didn’t have the confidence to know for sure. I still don’t know if you can ever know for sure, but it felt good to know that somebody else (and an objective source) felt it too.

When she provided some less specific information, I liked that I could interpret it how I wanted. It brought me closer to self-awareness, and acted as a prompt to get me thinking about some things that were sitting just below the surface. I took the information and used it to coach myself and reflect on what her words meant to me. I left feeling excited, filled with wonder, and proud that I tried something new.

A major takeaway for me though, is that this “big experience” wasn’t the only answer that was going to get me to the peace, calm, connection, and presence I’m looking for. I don’t think any one thing can do that. It was a valuable and fun way to complement my spiritual practice, but the biggest gift on this journey so far has been what I’ve received from making the smallest changes.

It feels a little underwhelming to say, but the most impactful way I’ve uncovered my authentic spirituality is through reading and writing. I know, snore, but daily journaling has been the key to bringing me closer to an authentic and lasting state of gratitude.

If you read the last post you know that I like to journal about how I got over my BS yesterday, or how I’m going to get over it today. I have also found another tool I’m using to help me understand my place in the universe as a whole, and to inspire my journaling practice. It’s called “The Book of Awakening,” by Mark Nepo.

I was introduced to this book by a fellow life coaching trainee. She started each day by reading one page from this book of daily devotionals and profound messages. In my desperation to find a spiritual ritual, I copied this practice from her. Real original, right? But, the thing about spiritual practices is that if they are truly authentic to you, they’ll wind up in your hands one way or another. I no longer look at it as being unoriginal, but rather as the universe putting me right where I was meant to be to discover a practice that has become so meaningful to me.

Here’s an excerpt that spoke to me, particularly as it pertains to this journey, “When we find our spirit on the move when we are pretending otherwise, the tension can be ripping. It leaves us all with the need to learn how to discern between an innocent not-knowing and a willful looking away. This is an inner knowing that can determine whether we will live like a dog at the end of our leash or whether we will run free through the grasses of life.”

The presence that has come from this new daily routine has at times suggested, and other times slapped me in the face with new truths.

One thing I know to be true is that I want to run free through the grasses of life.

I don’t know why I was so apprehensive about getting back into journaling. Maybe because it made me feel like an emo teenager, or maybe because I didn’t think it was deserving of my precious time. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Committing the time to explore my being through journaling, has been an empowering experience that has actually made me more productive.

A beautiful side effect of journaling has been that it has kept my gratitude list top of mind. Not only does this gratitude put things into perspective, but it has physically helped me relax and feel lighter. There’s actual science behind this that says when you think about what you’re grateful for, your brain releases dopamine and serotonin (the feel good neurotransmitters), and the more often you do this, the stronger these feel good neural pathways become, creating a more permanent positive nature. I remember having read that at some point but haven’t actually experienced it until now.

I am now relishing in little things and messages I may have previously raced right by without second thought. These little things now trigger waves of gratitude as I go about my day. It may sound crazy, but I don’t really care because even if it is, it sure feels good.

I feel compelled to note that as much as I’d like to walk around like Buddha all the time, I am human and it’s not always all bliss. The past few days have really tested me, and I didn’t always like the way I reacted to things. The good news is that I now know what tools to use to get me back to being grounded versus continuing to spin out of balance.

It’s hard to put into words the way this “grounding” feels. I’m going to share with you a note from my daily journal that brings to life the gift that this spiritual journey has given me versus trying to rewrite it into some beautiful prose. Here goes:

From Clara’s journal, February 12th: “It’s Tuesday, and I’m writing out an overwhelming to do list. Both kids are still sick, it’s raining outside, and I am dragging ass. In the midst of writing my to do list, I get to item #9, and when I normally would begin to panic, I felt a wave of gratitude. I can’t really explain it other than my chest feeling filled with light and love, and a smile came to my face. Maybe because with a shift in mindset, more gratitude, and a feeling of connection to something bigger, my to do list doesn’t seem like such a daunting task anymore, but rather a collection of all the wonderful things that make up my life.” 

Today I tried something new. I only put one thing on my to-do list: Flow.

Turning Fear into Curiosity: My Journey to Spirituality

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Open. That was the word I chose on January 1st — the word that would define my intention for the year. At the time, I was laser focused on opening a brick and mortar location for the Happy Hour. It’s now February 13th, and boy oh boy, that word has taken on a whole new meaning to me.

Flashback to the first week in January. I had just begun training to become a Certified Holistic Life Coach. I’d been doing online classes for a while, but couldn’t get my act together to actually finish the requirements, so I decided to commit to the in-person training and just get it done. Being both a new business owner and a parent of two kids under three years old, productivity and efficiency were always at the forefront of my mind.

Ever since I did a 180 from my corporate job and started my health journey, I have considered myself a pretty intense person when it comes to anything self-care, mental health, and self-awareness related. I do the work; I regularly see a therapist, practice yoga, and read all the inspiring Instagram posts. I try all the new wellness stuff out there – and preach about it! I turned my life’s work into creating a company that promotes the kind of self-care and community that normalizes mental wellness, in the hopes of making the world a happier place. I think of myself as a happy person, because I am! But, I recently came face to face with issues that have been lurking beneath the surface, and holding me back in so many areas of my life. I’ve spent a lot of time uncovering and working through them over the years, but it wasn’t until Day 3 of Life Coach training that I had finally said “uncle,” and surrendered to my truth. We spent hours each day of training getting coached in a group and doing a lot of deep introspection. The idea being, that you can’t be an effective life coach if you aren’t aware of what’s going on inside of you… you can’t give what you don’t have.

Well, Day 3 is the day that something inside of me snapped. I can’t tell you what the final trigger was, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that it happened. My typically buttoned-up, polished, MBA-trained self, broke down and confessed to the group that I was sick of it. I was sick of always being buttoned up. I was sick of being polished. I was sick of feeling closed off. I was sick of the pressure I put on myself to be perfect. SICK.OF.IT. The trainer took a breath, and masterfully responded with a quote that author Elizabeth Gilbert tweeted several years back:

I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.

Wow. I just got called out. And she hit the nail on the head. I promptly opened my journal to a fresh page, and titled it: “My Bullshit To Get Over ” and wrote a bulleted list of what I consider to be, well, my own bullshit. I noticed that there was a clear theme on my list – fear. Fear was driving so many of my decisions, and how I showed up in everyday life. What am I so afraid of? Why have I been letting fear take the wheel for so long? In that moment, I became determined to address this bullshit list head-on.

Breakthrough number two came on Day 4 of training, when the same trainer posed the question, “What spiritual rituals do you practice every day?” Cue the bead of sweat down my forehead. This question both sent me into a tailspin, and subsequently changed my life. As we went around the circle, it seemed that everyone had a number of beautifully articulated spiritual rituals that they practiced on a daily basis. As my peers spoke about these rituals, the peace and elation that accompanied their words were palpable. It was clear to see that they were vibrating on some other level that I didn’t know about. A club of which I wasn’t a part because I, on the other hand, didn’t even know what spiritual practice was. To be honest, I didn’t really know what the word ‘spiritual’ meant. Does this mean how pious you are? How often you pray to your higher power? How frequently you meditate? I believe in God, I pray as often as I think about it, I go to church sometimes… Where does that put me on this spiritual scale? To put it lightly, I was confused.

To answer her question, all I could muster up was, “ummmm, pass?”. The confusion and panic in my face became apparent to the group, so we took a step back to talk about the definition of spirituality. There is no one-size-fits all definition here, but the one that stuck to me was the one that defined spirituality as “anything that brings you closer to gratitude.” All of a sudden it didn’t feel like such a daunting task. Maybe I could do this after all.

You’d think that after years of trying any sort of self-development work I could get my hands on that I would’ve figured out a spiritual routine that brought me to my higher self, if you will. But I didn’t. That always bothered me, but I couldn’t figure out why. I put in the work, why am I not feeling the peace and spiritual connection I’m looking for?

What I’ve come to realize is that on the other side of this desire to become the best and happiest version of myself has been sitting a tremendous amount of fear, and when you let fear act as the guiding force in your decisions and actions, you are never going to be present enough to find that higher self that radiates positive energy (which is how I envision spirituality). Feeling simply content and confident that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. In my endeavor to become the best leader I could be, to become the most successful business person I could be, and the best parent I could be, I lost two things: my sense of self and my creativity. My spirituality, this ‘higher self,’ would never appear without those things. That’s not good enough for me anymore. Maybe what I find will look different than what I’ve envisioned, but I’m sure as hell not going to stand in the way of realizing my own spirituality, whatever that may look like, anymore.

What’s this about creativity though? Somewhere along the way in the past decade, after writing hundreds of pages of business case studies, memos, pitches, and the like, I lost my creativity. Or maybe just buried it deep beneath piles of excel spreadsheets and business lingo. I was so focused on producing and hitting deadlines that I didn’t allow time for anything creative. Sadly, I came to believe that I wasn’t creative, and told people all the time, “I’m just not a creative person.”

That’s where this blog comes into play. I’m combining the two things that have felt like a hole in my recent life: spirituality and creativity. This blog is an attempt to uncover the creativity that I buried a while back, while also saying goodbye to fear.  I’m jumping all in to new ways to heal what needs to be healed, and digging deeper into myself to reach that higher vibration I talked about.

Over the next few weeks I’ll bring you along with me as I try new things in hopes to shed some light on something you may have been curious about, but haven’t yet pushed ‘go’ on. I will be your guinea pig, so to speak.

As I’ve become more present through this spiritual journey, I’ve noticed how much my daughter reminds me of myself as a kid, spending hours reading books, getting so much joy from it, and using her imagination to make up fun stories. It pained me to ask myself why I ever stopped doing that. Why did I lose that child-like excitement about creativity? Reading and writing brought me so much joy. I’m giving it a whirl again, and my writing muscle is a good bit weaker than it once was, but I’m having a lot of fun giving it some attention.

I’m a month into this journey, and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore, but also like I’m my true self for the first time in my life. I am beginning to remove those blocks. And the payoff has been incredible. By the way, that “List of My Own Bullshit” I mentioned earlier has kicked off my daily journaling practice as each day I write about how I’m going to get over my own BS that day, along with any other feelings that come up. And just like that, I’ve got my first daily spiritual ritual.

Ditch the Resolutions and Crush Your Goals

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The start of a new year, and especially a new decade, is a natural point of reflection. Chances are you’ve gone through some old photos in the last week and thought, “Wow! A lot has changed in the last decade. I’ve achieved so much more than I thought.”

Often following this kind of reflection, you’ll feel excited about how much more you could achieve in the next decade. If you’re going to achieve all those lofty goals, you’d better get cracking immediately, right? And that’s where the dreaded New Year’s resolutions come into play.

A quick Google search will show you some dismal statistics about New Year’s resolutions. According to Forbes, only 25% of us who make resolutions stayed committed longer than 30 days, and only 8% actually accomplish what we set out to do. So if you set resolutions for 2020 and have already hit a bump in the road, you’re not alone.

That’s why we say, ditch the resolutions! Resolutions are like diets: restrictive, boring, and unrealistic. You don’t need to suddenly become a “new you” to create a life you love (even more). The old you has accomplished so much. Give that person a little more credit, because they’re totally going to crush 2020, and they’re going to do it by thoughtfully setting goals and intentions.

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Instead of setting vague, yet rigid, resolutions, like “land my dream job”, or “lose weight”, take some time to think about your goals, and don’t be afraid to dig below the surface.

Get really specific and write your goals down in your journal:

  • What is the goal?
  • Why is this goal important to you?
  • What would your life look like if you achieved it?
  • What obstacles could make achieving the goal challenging?
  • How could you plan to avoid them, or at least lessen the effect those obstacles would have on your progress? This includes the effect that being set back would have on your emotional triggers.

So why does writing down specific goals work, when resolutions don’t? For a start, goals include planning for flexibility and imperfection (a.k.a. life) to happen, as opposed to the all-or-nothing resolution approach. You’ll also have dug into the “why” behind the goal, which is often far more motivating than the goal itself.

Neuroscience has also shown that writing things down helps keeps your goals front of mind because of “external storage” and “encoding”. External storage is pretty self-explanatory: by storing your goals in a journal, you’re able to revisit them – and you should! – as they remind you of the motivation behind them on the days when you want to throw in the towel.

Encoding is a biological process, that allows things we can experience with our senses to travel to the brain’s hippocampus. This is the part of the brain that decides what gets stored in our long term memory. The physical act of writing, and then seeing your words written down enforces the encoding process, making it much more likely that your goals and their motivation will be remembered. This process makes you up to 1.4 times more likely to achieve your goal.

Setting an intention for the year – and writing it down – is just as important as defining your goals. Unexpected circumstances could mean that one of your goals needs to be adjusted, or even be put on the back burner for a while. Having an intention to guide you will make that process easier to navigate. Think of your intention for the year as the compass that will keep you heading in the right direction, even if life takes you on a different path than you’d planned for. Your intention can turn feeling lost into “the scenic route”, which we can all agree is a much better outcome!

Want to learn more about how to set an intention for 2020? We’re hosting an intention setting workshop this Sunday!

Learn More About Intention Setting

Last Minute Gift Guide

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If you you’re feeling stumped about those last minute gifts – or even if you just feel like treating yo’self (after all, you’ve achieved a lot this year) – we’ve got you covered! “But what about shipping deadlines”, you ask? All the gifts here are either digital and can be delivered instantly, or they’re available in-store in the Nashville area. Let’s get shopping!

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The Commune Collection by Wooden Spoon Herbs – For the Friend Who Has Everything

The latest range of tonics created by clinical herbalist, Lauren Haynes, is designed for everyday wellness, helping to leave you feeling energized, uplifted and balanced. Available individually or as a set. The broad range of benefits makes this a great gift for anyone in your life – even the person who has everything, because even if they already have these tonics, you’ll bet they’ll want a backup for when they run out!

Available online, or locally at Lemon Laine in Nashville.

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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, by Lori Gottlieb – For the Bookworm in your Life

Topping just about every book list, this book is a must-read. According to Shondaland, Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb’s memoir is “a funny behind-the-scenes look at what happens when people – even shrinks themselves – ‘break open’ with the help of a therapist”.

Heartwarming and insightful, this book reminds us that so many of our problems are universal, and it might even inspire some self-exploration.

Available online, or locally at Parnassus Books in Nashville.

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A Reflexology Gift Card – For the Hard Working Caregiver who Needs a Little TLC

We all know someone who is either a caregiver by profession, or gives so much of themselves to their loved ones you’d think it was their profession! Why not treat them to something a little more therapeutic than the standard pedi, with a relaxing reflexology session?

Available online and locally at Salt and Soles in Nashville.

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A Ticket to a New Year Intention Setting Workshop – For the Go-Getter who’s Looking to Crush their Resolutions

Ok, we’re guilty of a shameless plug on this one, but this really is a fantastic gift for anyone (including you!) who loves self-improvement, yoga, or who is looking to start the new year on the right foot. Through a combination of yoga and group discussion led by a licensed counselor, you will hone in on one intention to live by in the new year, helping you to gain the clarity you need to create a life you love.

The workshop will be held at Inner Light Yoga on Sunday, January 12th from 5-7pm. More info here.

Tickets available online.

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The Gift of Quality Time – For Any Person You’d Like to See More Of in 2020

We’re taking the idea of a personal gift card to the next level with this one by being really specific – no IOUs for a vague dinner sometime in the next year. Pick an activity and a date and get it on the calendar. Instead of getting your arty friend a book from the museum gift-shop, why not buy a set of tickets to the next exhibit and schedule a day of art and quality time together? If you and your mother are always talking about taking a cooking class together, now’s your chance to make that happen! Have you and a friend talked about completing a specific hike? Buy the guide book and start planning that trip together. The beauty of these gifts is that aside from putting a smile on your loved-one’s face, they’ll also nurture your relationship, leaving you both with happy memories for years to come.

Happy Holidays!

Holistic Happiness Series: Get By With a Little Help from Your Friends

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“Community” is a buzz word and it’s probably because studies are finding that the happiest people have strong relationships and spend time with friends (FB stalking doesn’t count, unfortunately). It’s easy to get caught up and realize you haven’t talked to your bestie in weeks, so give these tips a whirl and report back!

Phone a Friend

Social media makes it feel like you’re totally caught up on your friends’ lives, but we all know what we show on social isn’t always the whole picture. Try scheduling monthly calls (or even better, Facetime) with the people who are most important to you, so you can have some #realtalk…not text messages. It will make you feel deeply connected and supported, giving a boost to your mental state. Plus, it can be a good reminder of what is truly important in life. #blessed


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Dinner Parties

In his TedxNashville presentation, clinical psychologist, Dr. Jerome Burt, went so far to say that dinner parties can save lives. The gist of this idea is that people are disconnected, and we wear the word ‘busy’ like a badge of honor. However, this busyness gets in the way of loving and belonging, which are essential to our happiness. Dr. Burt’s take – “you’re born wanting two things: food and belonging,” and breaking bread fulfills both. A little wine can’t hurt either.

Find Your Peeps

We love connecting with friends from all walks of life (obvi, we wrote a whole email about it). But, don’t be afraid to look outside of your squad for another source of support and inspiration. There are lots of organized groups and events that are centered around a specific theme – new parents, life transitions, new to the city, etc. Meetup, local fitness studio calendars, and Eventbrite are all great places to look. And of course awesome pop up events from yours truly that will be coming soon!

Note of Gratitude – People

Keeping a gratitude journal is a powerful tool, but we understand if it’s just one more thing filling up your to-do list. Instead, try grabbing whatever’s close by and jotting down the names of two people for whom you’re thankful to know. Recall a couple specific memories and the feelings you have (or had) when together. It should give you some happy feels, and if you haven’t talked to them in a while, see tip #1 above.

These tips aren’t meant to be a slam-dunk for everyone, but we hope they can give you some achievable ideas of how to inject a few more smiles into your day, and even promote long-term wellbeing. We are so grateful for this new Happy Hour community, and can’t thank you enough for joining us on this journey! 

Holistic Happiness Series: Simple Steps Toward a Happier You

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Welcome to the second installment of our Holistic Happiness Series! We hope this series helps you discover some tools to help you become your happiest self. Read on for some more takeaways from our first pop up, Self-Care Saturday!


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The Self Care Myth

Self-Care doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. The only “right way” is to find several tools that work for your personality, lifestyle and budget, that alsomake you feel uplifted. This can be as simple as taking a few minutes to do something for yourself – a bath, a meditation, a few 1-minute workouts –  or something as big as getting a massage. Ask yourself what you hope to get out of these activities – if you’re just adding another stressful expectation or task to your life, ditch it!

Essential Oils

Essential oils are an effective, natural, and super easy tool to help reduce stress and lift your spirits. If you’ve got a diffuser, put a few drops in and let the aroma run in the background, or just take a few sniffs straight from the bottle for instant relief (close your eyes because these puppies can be strong). EOs can react differently to different folks, so try a few and see which do the trick for you. Some of our favorite calm-inducing EOs include: bergamot, lavender and chamomile.

Counseling or Coaching

Whether you’ve got a specific challenge or are simply feeling frazzled, talking to a professional will teach you the tools to be your best, happiest self. There are lots of options out there, and our therapists from Self-Care Saturday are a great place to start. If you’d prefer to go the coaching route, we suggest using the International Coach Federation as a resource. It’s so important to make mental wellbeing a part of your wellness routine. Feeling good starts with your feelings, right?


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One Minute Workouts

Don’t have time for a “real” workout? Don’t stress! You’ll see more physical and mental results by incorporating quick, consistent workouts into your schedule than you will by doing one high intensity workout on the weekend. Pick a few one-minute exercises and create an effective workout, no matter how time-strapped you are (we squeeze it in while playing with our kids). Visit trainer Matt Royka’s instagram for one-minute workouts that can be done anywhere. Consistency is key! 

Drop us a line if you’ve tried any of the happiness hacks shared at Self-Care Saturday – we’d love to hear how they worked for you!

Kicking off our Holistic Happiness Series

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“Don’t let yourself go unrecognized for the work you are doing, because the work you do on yourself is the work you do for the world.”

– Emmy Singer, Inner Light Yoga


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We had some serious wisdom dropped on us at Self-Care Saturday by some incredibly talented folks, and we can’t keep it to ourselves. So, we’re kicking off a weekly series in which we’ll provide you with some of our favorite new happiness tips.


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Yoga

Throughout your practice, in yoga and in life, remember to thank yourself. Share love and gratitude towards your body for being strong, and remember to honor what your individual body needs. Take 30-seconds every day to set your intention. Carry your intention and your gratitude with you throughout the day. Taking the time to care for yourself is a bold, brave and beautiful thing.

Nutrition and Mental Health

There is no single diet, workout, or therapy session that will fix everything, as all 3 are linked. In order to optimize your total health you should incorporate a wide variety of nutrient dense foods. Elimination diets can have an adverse effect on your digestion and can convince your mind that it’s in withdrawal, thus increasing anxiety, and wreaking havoc on your overall health. Bottom line: incorporate as much variety as possible, while still caring for yourself.

Herbs for Stress and Anxiety

Herbs are a powerful support system for your stress and anxiety, but they affect everyone differently. Expert Herbalist, Lauren Haynes, says to familiarize yourself with 3 herbs and make teas out of each (or buy them if you’re not into DIY). Get into a zen space, and see how you feel after each sip of tea, where you feel it in your body, and if the feeling increases after additional sips. Lauren’s faves for anxiety are: skullcap, motherwort, milky oats, and chamomile.  

Sound Bath Meditation

This practice is about deep listening and paying attention to yourself. Take a few moments to check in with yourself, identify how you’re feeling, and try to understand it. How? Go to a quiet space, close your eyes, and breathe in and out to a count that feels good (try the Insight Timer app for 👌 guided meditation). We’re constantly bombarded with information, and this practice will help you slow your mind and become more present and effective. 


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The main takeaway is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to self-care. We hope these tips help you to discover what works best for you!