Tag Archives: couples counseling

A Fun and Connective Couples Experience

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Couples Retreat • February 8th • 10 am – 3pm

 

Great partnerships don’t happen by accident; it takes intentional time 365 days a year. Let’s make this year easier on you and create better habits that will better your relationship. Important to note: This is not intensive! We are here to make this fun and connective. If you want the best gift for your partner for valentines day it is to nurture your relationship! Here are a few topics we will be covering on our couples retreat: 

 

Topic 1: Understanding

Have you ever had a difficult time understanding where your partner is coming from? Or maybe you thought you had a good idea of who your partner is, but you feel like they’ve changed? This section of our retreat will help you dig deep into your partner’s inner world and start the practice of asking questions. We all come to our relationships with past experiences that shape our worldview, and we are all constantly evolving. While it’s not always possible to agree with your partner, it’s easier to collaborate when you stay curious about your partner. 

 

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

– Ursula K. Le Guin

 

Topic 2: The Importance of Shared Responsibility

Division of labor is one of the top subjects that couples have arguments over. Couples come to a relationship with different expectations and standards for responsibilities in the relationship. Oftentimes it is difficult to navigate these differences. In this section, we will discuss and clarify the roles of each person in the relationship and create a tangible game plan moving forward. 

 

Topic 3: Fighting Fair

What if conflict could actually make your relationship stronger, instead of something that you push under the rug or explode over? Most people don’t have a blueprint on how to fight with their partner, and find themselves slipping into hurtful patterns. This section of the retreat will help couples identify common patterns in conflict, how to interrupt those patterns, and how to repair the relationship after a conflict. We will also work on preventative measures- conflict is inevitable but escalation can be prevented. 

 

Topic 4: Connection

Connection in a relationship provides benefits such as emotional support, reduced feelings of loneliness and contributes to overall well being. Connection in romantic relationships creates a feeling of trust and understanding and allows couples to navigate life’s challenges more effectively. In this section, we will discuss different aspects of connection in a relationship and do an activity that focuses on building a stronger and deeper connection with your partner. 

 

Perspective shift: Loving is about learning. Even when you think you have your side of the story figured out, all it takes is a reframe. In other words, with the proper tools, there’s always more to uncover to heal or strengthen your bond. Sometimes the easiest way to gain a deeper understanding is to shift perspective. It takes a lot of emotional awareness and putting aside your ego to be able to meet your partner where they are at. But once it happens you realize you aren’t against each other. Love is an action, a skill, not all parts of it come natural, but we are here to make it easier. We are here to guide and teach you how to shift perspective and regain closeness. 

 

Special Offer: Discount for Marriage & Family License!

As an added bonus, this retreat will count towards a $60 discount on your marriage and family license! Not only will you walk away with a stronger relationship, but you’ll also get a fantastic deal on your license. 

 

No matter where you are in your relationship—whether you’re newlyweds, have been together for years, or anywhere in between—our Couples Retreat hosted here at The Happy Hour on Saturday, February 8th from 10am-3pm is designed for all couples looking to deepen their connection and strengthen their partnership.

Couples Therapy: Not Just for Rough Patches

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Choosing to go through life with someone by your side is a wonderful thing, but that doesn’t mean relationships aren’t hard work. Couples therapy is a great way to strengthen or rebuild your connection, navigate tough times, and check-in to nip issues in the bud before they become a problem.  

 

Think of your relationship as a car and your therapist like a mechanic. You’re not going to wait until the wheels fall off before taking it to a mechanic, right? You’re going to go for regular oil changes and tune ups so that the car can keep running smoothly without you being blind-sided by problems. And if the wheels do come off? Well, then it’s definitely time for some overdue maintenance and repairs.

 

We spoke to The Happy Hour therapists Amy Jackson, LCSW-MPH, and Jeannette Diddens, LCSW, to get the inside scoop on couples therapy.

 

1. Who can benefit from couples therapy? Is it just for married or premarital couples?

 

AJ: It’s my opinion that EVERYONE could benefit from couples therapy! It’s so crucial to get a baseline of effective communication, understanding and friendship to promote a long-lasting relationship. Of course, those who are suffering relationship wounds (i.e. infidelity, substance use, and other trust issues) would benefit from a longer duration of sessions and intervention. 

 

There’s also no reason to wait until something goes wrong- even dating couples can see positive results from a neutral third party perspective on their most common relationship conflicts. In fact, it’s protective to have early intervention and practice in communication.

 

JD: I love it when I see a couple come in for premarital therapy. They learn some tools before big life events happen, so they can be prepared for what’s to come. 

 

2. What are some common issues or topics that you see in couples therapy?

 

AJ: Other than the common issues of trust violations (infidelity, dishonesty about substances or money), a loss of connection is a big issue I see. Friendship is central to the health of a relationship, and it’s also the easiest aspect to fall to the wayside with the busyness of life. One thing I love working with couples on is how to reconnect to your partner and rebuild that friendship- once fondness and admiration are re-established (Gottman’s theory), couples are better able to engage in productive conflict resolution. 

 

JD: I used to say I was going to write a book titled  “Sex and dirty dishes”, because for a while I saw a trend of couples arguing about those 2 topics. The frequency of intimacy and the distribution of household chores seem to come up often. What lies beneath that is loneliness in their marriage or feelings of not being valued. 

 

3. You both love the Gottman methods and theories – what’s so great about it?

 

AJ: I love anything research-based and practical, and Gottman’s theory delivers so many great exercises and tips. I also find it to be approachable for people who are new to therapy, which is a big plus for people who may feel hesitant with vulnerability. 

 

JD: It’s the best that we have as far as 50 plus years of data from couples counseling. You can’t argue with data. 

 

4. What can I expect in a couples therapy session?

 

AJ: I like to get a thorough history of the relationship and always want to incorporate what actually works in the partnership. It’s so easy to get bogged down by the stress and turmoil of the day-to-day that I find it helpful to investigate what connection is still there (whether it be past or present). After gaining a thorough knowledge of the couple, I like to give ample time to both parties to explore their biggest issues in their relationship, and ensure each partner feels heard. I am also a big proponent of homework for couples therapy. There’s only so much that can be accomplished in a 50 min therapy session; the couple is on the hook for the hard work of rebuilding their connection. 

 

JD: I am a strengths based therapist, so I start with identifying their partners strengths. I try to set a great foundation in the room so we can all come to an understanding of why it is, we care enough about each other to be in couples counseling.  

 

5. Can couples therapy help people who are in the process of divorce (or already divorced) co-parent more effectively?

 

AJ: 100%. The communication issues don’t go away once you divorce; in fact, unless some of the resentment and hurt is worked through, more suffering is inevitable. I can help couples come up with a plan that works for both of them while centering their children’s needs. Children are just innocent bystanders in a relationship dissolution, and it’s crucial that their lives are as undisturbed as possible with the foundation of a co-parenting plan. 

 

JD: Yes. Couples therapy can play a valuable role for individuals going through a divorce in several ways. They learn how to communicate better, they can gain co-parenting assistance and they can gain more understanding of themselves to take to their other relationships. Overall, I think it also provides closure for each person going forward.

 

If you’d like to learn more about couples therapy, give us a call at the studio, 615-953-3934, or book online.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.