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Six Moments You Should Consider Couples or Family Counseling

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When you choose to share your life with someone, it’s essential to create a rhythm of giving, receiving, and experiencing life together. A strong relationship isn’t about keeping score—it’s about mutual support, shared joy, and growing alongside each other.

That’s why couples and family therapy isn’t just for relationships in distress. In fact, seeking therapy proactively can help strengthen your bond, improve communication, and guide you through life’s inevitable transitions with greater ease. Research shows that consistently investing in a relationship—both early on and over time—not only deepens connection but also enhances overall satisfaction and fosters a lasting sense of togetherness.

One cool but often overlooked aspect of couples therapy is that the therapist views the couple as the primary entity to support. While the individuals create the dynamic, the therapist is focused on offering guidance for the larger story and outlook of both people together. There’s really no other type of intervention quite like it. This is why it’s so important to find a therapist who not only has experience but also a genuine passion for working with couples.

Below, we’ll explore key moments when couples and family counseling can be especially beneficial.

 

1. Before Major Commitments

You may feel like you know everything about your partner as you approach an engagement or marriage, but some topics—like finances, family planning, or lifestyle choices—can be difficult to discuss openly. You might feel intimidated by the conversation, unsure how to bring it up without letting emotions or fears get in the way of what you truly want to say.

Research shows that engaging in premarital counseling can help lay a strong foundation for marriage. In fact, a meta-analysis of 20 studies involving over 10,000 couples found that those who participated in premarital counseling had a 31% lower chance of divorce compared to those who did not. Even for long-term partners who don’t plan on getting married, counseling before making major commitments—like moving in together or merging finances—can help set the stage for a healthy, fulfilling future.

In therapy you and your partner can learn the foundational language and tools that can be used time and time again when conversations are serious and big decisions must be made.

 

2. Deciding on Big Life Transitions

Significant life changes, like career shifts, relocations, or decisions about having children, can introduce stress into a relationship. The real challenge is how you both merge your expectations and visions for the future into one shared path. And how do you do that without overpowering each other’s thoughts or perspectives? This can be especially tough if you and your partner are coming from different viewpoints.

Couples therapy offers a valuable opportunity to navigate these changes together, fostering understanding, support, and growth. A therapist can help you explore each other’s values, make collaborative decisions, and manage the stress that comes with big transitions. Therapy also helps you both see the potential impact of one choice over another, allowing for a clearer view of the emotions and values tied to your decisions. With this broader perspective, you and your partner can make the most informed choice for your future.

 

Transitioning to Parenthood

Becoming parents is a beautiful but demanding shift in a relationship. Studies show that 67% of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction after having children (Gottman & Gottman, 2017). It’s easy to see why, both of you are taking on new responsibilities and roles, all while undergoing a transformation in your personal identities. It’s a lot to handle—even at the best of times! 

Seeing a therapist can help you share the emotional and practical burdens of this transition with your partner (they aren’t your roommate after all, they are your partner!). A therapist can provide you with the tools and language to navigate co-parenting, while also helping to strengthen your connection amidst these evolving dynamics. Therapy offers a quiet, neutral space where you and your partner can make important decisions about how to raise your child, define your family values, and approach discipline—while also learning about attachment styles and building solid foundations for your child’s development.

 

3. Following a Crisis or Trauma

Difficult life events—such as the loss of a loved one, a serious illness, or financial hardship—can deeply impact even the strongest relationships. Research shows that couples who seek therapy during times of crisis tend to exhibit higher resilience and emotional regulation (Neff & Karney, 2005). The honesty and safety of the therapy space offer a neutral environment where both partners can process their emotions in a healthy way. It allows each person to express their individual experiences with grief or trauma, discover new depths of connection through this shared experience, and ultimately prevent long-term resentment or disconnection.

And that last part is so important. By addressing the pain together, you can prevent the seed of resentment from taking root—something that can pay off in ways you might not fully realize right now.

 

4. When Communication Breakdowns Occur

Struggles with misunderstandings, recurring conflicts, or emotional distance are signs that it might be time for professional support. The Gottman Method teaches that the success of a relationship isn’t about avoiding conflict but about how couples manage it (Gottman, 1999). Couples can either move toward each other with proven strategies and tools, or they can fall into patterns known as The Four Horsemen—spoiler alert: things tend to go much better when you choose the former.

Therapy can help by teaching effective communication techniques, identifying and breaking unhealthy patterns, and strengthening emotional attunement. After all, communication is the bridge to lasting success in a relationship, and like any bridge, it needs care and maintenance. Returning to therapy ensures that your foundation remains strong, allowing for a healthier way to communicate, a deeper emotional connection, and a richer intimacy.

 

5. After Trust Issues or Infidelity

Recovering from a breach of trust or infidelity is undoubtedly challenging, but it is possible. Research shows that with the right therapeutic interventions, many couples can rebuild trust and even create a relationship that’s stronger than before (Glass, 2003). You might be wondering how this is possible after such deep wounds have been inflicted. The key is to rebuild from the inside out—reconnecting your lives and hearts through consistent effort and attunement to one another.

It will take time, but couples counseling can help by creating a safe space for open dialogue, rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy, and establishing trust and accountability.

 

6. For Regular Relationship Check-Ins

Despite all the reasons above to seek therapy, let’s be clear: you don’t need to wait for a crisis to seek support. Just as people go to the doctor for routine check-ups, relationships benefit from periodic counseling to maintain a solid foundation. Studies suggest that couples who engage in ongoing relationship education report higher satisfaction and lower divorce rates (Markman et al., 2010). Consistent therapy sessions can help partners enhance intimacy, strengthen emotional connections, develop new skills for managing stress and conflict, and support continued personal and relational growth. The number of sessions and frequency is up to you and your partner, but one key benefit of regular therapy is that it prevents the idea of “going to therapy” from feeling like a last-ditch effort to save your relationship. In other words, therapy doesn’t have to feel intimidating or scary—it’s simply a way to nurture and strengthen your bond along the way.

 

Couples and family therapy isn’t just about fixing problems—it’s about building a relationship that can withstand life’s inevitable ups and downs. You’ve chosen to do life with your partner, so why not embrace the opportunity to work together and be there for one another? Yes, couples therapy can be a powerful expression of love.

 

If you’re unsure where to start, we now offer free consultation calls to help you explore the best path forward.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

How to Create a Connection Ritual with Your Partner

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In the busyness of life, it’s easy for meaningful connection to slip to the bottom of the priority list. Work, responsibilities, and the daily grind take over, and suddenly, quality time with your partner feels more like an afterthought than an intention. But deep connection doesn’t just happen—it’s nurtured through small, consistent efforts over time.

Creating a connection ritual doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s not about grand gestures or extravagant plans. It’s about showing up, week after week, with presence and intention. Inspired by Relationship Workbook for Couples by Rachel Stone (2019), here’s a simple six-step guide to help you cultivate a ritual of connection with your partner.

 

Step 1: Set Aside a Dedicated Day & Time Each Week

Consistency is key. Choose a day and time that works for both of you and protect it like an important appointment. This is your time to step away from distractions and be fully present with each other. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—what matters is that you both commit to showing up.

 

Step 2: Identify What Makes You Feel Most Connected

Connection looks different for everyone. Some people feel closest through deep conversations, while others connect through physical touch, shared laughter, or experiencing something new together. Take some time to reflect—what moments make you feel most seen, heard, and valued in your relationship? Let that guide your ritual.

 

Step 3: Reflect on Your ‘Dream Dates’

Think about some of your most memorable dates. What made them special? Maybe it was the sense of adventure, the quiet intimacy, or the joy of trying something new. You don’t have to recreate those dates exactly, but you can bring their essence into your weekly connection time. If spontaneity and fun were key, try something playful. If deep conversations were what stood out, create space for meaningful dialogue.

 

Step 4: Find Shared Interests

Connection deepens when you share experiences that genuinely excite you both. Maybe it’s cooking together, going for a walk, playing a game, or listening to music. If you don’t have an obvious shared interest, explore new activities together—you might be surprised by what you enjoy!

 

Step 5: Keep a Running List of Ideas

Life gets busy, and when you finally have time together, it’s easy to default to the same routine or struggle to think of something to do. Keeping a running list of ideas—conversation starters, games, new activities, or fun date night plans—can help keep things fresh and intentional.

 

Step 6: Stay Committed, Even When It’s Not Perfect

Not every connection time will go as planned. Some weeks might feel more effortless than others, and that’s okay. What matters most is the intention behind it—prioritizing each other, showing up, and making the effort. Over time, these small moments build something much deeper: trust, intimacy, and a foundation that can weather life’s ups and downs.

 

Connection is Built in the Small Moments

Relationships thrive not because of grand gestures, but because of the everyday moments of love, presence, and care. By creating a connection ritual, you’re setting the stage for deeper understanding, intimacy, and joy in your relationship.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.



A Fun and Connective Couples Experience

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Couples Retreat • February 8th • 10 am – 3pm

 

Great partnerships don’t happen by accident; it takes intentional time 365 days a year. Let’s make this year easier on you and create better habits that will better your relationship. Important to note: This is not intensive! We are here to make this fun and connective. If you want the best gift for your partner for valentines day it is to nurture your relationship! Here are a few topics we will be covering on our couples retreat: 

 

Topic 1: Understanding

Have you ever had a difficult time understanding where your partner is coming from? Or maybe you thought you had a good idea of who your partner is, but you feel like they’ve changed? This section of our retreat will help you dig deep into your partner’s inner world and start the practice of asking questions. We all come to our relationships with past experiences that shape our worldview, and we are all constantly evolving. While it’s not always possible to agree with your partner, it’s easier to collaborate when you stay curious about your partner. 

 

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.

– Ursula K. Le Guin

 

Topic 2: The Importance of Shared Responsibility

Division of labor is one of the top subjects that couples have arguments over. Couples come to a relationship with different expectations and standards for responsibilities in the relationship. Oftentimes it is difficult to navigate these differences. In this section, we will discuss and clarify the roles of each person in the relationship and create a tangible game plan moving forward. 

 

Topic 3: Fighting Fair

What if conflict could actually make your relationship stronger, instead of something that you push under the rug or explode over? Most people don’t have a blueprint on how to fight with their partner, and find themselves slipping into hurtful patterns. This section of the retreat will help couples identify common patterns in conflict, how to interrupt those patterns, and how to repair the relationship after a conflict. We will also work on preventative measures- conflict is inevitable but escalation can be prevented. 

 

Topic 4: Connection

Connection in a relationship provides benefits such as emotional support, reduced feelings of loneliness and contributes to overall well being. Connection in romantic relationships creates a feeling of trust and understanding and allows couples to navigate life’s challenges more effectively. In this section, we will discuss different aspects of connection in a relationship and do an activity that focuses on building a stronger and deeper connection with your partner. 

 

Perspective shift: Loving is about learning. Even when you think you have your side of the story figured out, all it takes is a reframe. In other words, with the proper tools, there’s always more to uncover to heal or strengthen your bond. Sometimes the easiest way to gain a deeper understanding is to shift perspective. It takes a lot of emotional awareness and putting aside your ego to be able to meet your partner where they are at. But once it happens you realize you aren’t against each other. Love is an action, a skill, not all parts of it come natural, but we are here to make it easier. We are here to guide and teach you how to shift perspective and regain closeness. 

 

Special Offer: Discount for Marriage & Family License!

As an added bonus, this retreat will count towards a $60 discount on your marriage and family license! Not only will you walk away with a stronger relationship, but you’ll also get a fantastic deal on your license. 

 

No matter where you are in your relationship—whether you’re newlyweds, have been together for years, or anywhere in between—our Couples Retreat hosted here at The Happy Hour on Saturday, February 8th from 10am-3pm is designed for all couples looking to deepen their connection and strengthen their partnership.

Better Relationships with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

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From the cradle to the grave, humans desire a certain someone who will look out for them, notice and value them, soothe their wounds, reassure them in life’s difficult places, and hold them in the dark.

Sue Johnson, Ph.D., creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy

 

Ah, Valentine’s Day. A day full of expensive dinner reservations, flowers, and candy, but often also full of expectations that may or may not be fulfilled. Often in my work with couples, I see unmet expectations from one or both partners, and the inevitable deterioration of connection as a result. As you may imagine, most couples’ dissatisfaction is rarely about the flowers or candy, but the absence of a feeling of connection, love, and being valued.

 

I recently completed an EFT externship at Trevecca University, and was blown away by the work of Sue Johnson and others regarding attachment, conflict patterns, and restoration of connection in couples. The intensive 4 day training reinforced a belief I already knew in my heart- that couples don’t struggle because one person likes to spend more money than the other, or one person leaves the dishes in the sink. They struggle because they are insecurely attached to one another and are not experiencing the connection humans are born needing.

 

So, what is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a therapeutic approach designed to enhance the emotional connection and security within relationships. It focuses on identifying and reshaping negative patterns of interaction, fostering communication, and ultimately promoting a more secure and satisfying bond between individuals.

 

How can Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) help me and my partner with our connection?

Think of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as relationship magic. It dives deep into the emotional stuff, helping couples figure out their quirks and needs. EFT transforms the “weird tension” moments into a tag-team of understanding, so partners can communicate better and trust more. 

 

How can I get started on repairing connection with my partner?

I cannot recommend ‘Hold Me Tight’, by Dr. Sue Johnson enough as a starting point! Check it out here. Couples therapy is also helpful to bring in an unbiased guide to reconnection.

 

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.

 

Book couples therapy and explore Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Amy Jackson, LCSW-MPH here.

Couples Therapy: Not Just for Rough Patches

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Choosing to go through life with someone by your side is a wonderful thing, but that doesn’t mean relationships aren’t hard work. Couples therapy is a great way to strengthen or rebuild your connection, navigate tough times, and check-in to nip issues in the bud before they become a problem.  

 

Think of your relationship as a car and your therapist like a mechanic. You’re not going to wait until the wheels fall off before taking it to a mechanic, right? You’re going to go for regular oil changes and tune ups so that the car can keep running smoothly without you being blind-sided by problems. And if the wheels do come off? Well, then it’s definitely time for some overdue maintenance and repairs.

 

We spoke to The Happy Hour therapists Amy Jackson, LCSW-MPH, and Jeannette Diddens, LCSW, to get the inside scoop on couples therapy.

 

1. Who can benefit from couples therapy? Is it just for married or premarital couples?

 

AJ: It’s my opinion that EVERYONE could benefit from couples therapy! It’s so crucial to get a baseline of effective communication, understanding and friendship to promote a long-lasting relationship. Of course, those who are suffering relationship wounds (i.e. infidelity, substance use, and other trust issues) would benefit from a longer duration of sessions and intervention. 

 

There’s also no reason to wait until something goes wrong- even dating couples can see positive results from a neutral third party perspective on their most common relationship conflicts. In fact, it’s protective to have early intervention and practice in communication.

 

JD: I love it when I see a couple come in for premarital therapy. They learn some tools before big life events happen, so they can be prepared for what’s to come. 

 

2. What are some common issues or topics that you see in couples therapy?

 

AJ: Other than the common issues of trust violations (infidelity, dishonesty about substances or money), a loss of connection is a big issue I see. Friendship is central to the health of a relationship, and it’s also the easiest aspect to fall to the wayside with the busyness of life. One thing I love working with couples on is how to reconnect to your partner and rebuild that friendship- once fondness and admiration are re-established (Gottman’s theory), couples are better able to engage in productive conflict resolution. 

 

JD: I used to say I was going to write a book titled  “Sex and dirty dishes”, because for a while I saw a trend of couples arguing about those 2 topics. The frequency of intimacy and the distribution of household chores seem to come up often. What lies beneath that is loneliness in their marriage or feelings of not being valued. 

 

3. You both love the Gottman methods and theories – what’s so great about it?

 

AJ: I love anything research-based and practical, and Gottman’s theory delivers so many great exercises and tips. I also find it to be approachable for people who are new to therapy, which is a big plus for people who may feel hesitant with vulnerability. 

 

JD: It’s the best that we have as far as 50 plus years of data from couples counseling. You can’t argue with data. 

 

4. What can I expect in a couples therapy session?

 

AJ: I like to get a thorough history of the relationship and always want to incorporate what actually works in the partnership. It’s so easy to get bogged down by the stress and turmoil of the day-to-day that I find it helpful to investigate what connection is still there (whether it be past or present). After gaining a thorough knowledge of the couple, I like to give ample time to both parties to explore their biggest issues in their relationship, and ensure each partner feels heard. I am also a big proponent of homework for couples therapy. There’s only so much that can be accomplished in a 50 min therapy session; the couple is on the hook for the hard work of rebuilding their connection. 

 

JD: I am a strengths based therapist, so I start with identifying their partners strengths. I try to set a great foundation in the room so we can all come to an understanding of why it is, we care enough about each other to be in couples counseling.  

 

5. Can couples therapy help people who are in the process of divorce (or already divorced) co-parent more effectively?

 

AJ: 100%. The communication issues don’t go away once you divorce; in fact, unless some of the resentment and hurt is worked through, more suffering is inevitable. I can help couples come up with a plan that works for both of them while centering their children’s needs. Children are just innocent bystanders in a relationship dissolution, and it’s crucial that their lives are as undisturbed as possible with the foundation of a co-parenting plan. 

 

JD: Yes. Couples therapy can play a valuable role for individuals going through a divorce in several ways. They learn how to communicate better, they can gain co-parenting assistance and they can gain more understanding of themselves to take to their other relationships. Overall, I think it also provides closure for each person going forward.

 

If you’d like to learn more about couples therapy, give us a call at the studio, 615-953-3934, or book online.

 

THE CONTENT OF THIS BLOG IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A THERAPEUTIC RELATIONSHIP.