September 7, 2023
Events | Wellness
I am a new mom.
The journey into motherhood has completely transformed my life in the most chaotic yet beautiful way imaginable. As I lean into this new chapter, I find myself evolving into a different person – the post-baby me. To be honest, I had underestimated just how challenging this transition would be. My responsibilities have shifted dramatically. Now, every facet of my life is meticulously organized on my calendar to prevent forgetfulness. I find myself with minimal ‘alone time,’ and I’ve had to temporarily set aside my own interests and hobbies simply because there just isn’t enough time in the day. Moreover, my desire for friendship is evolving and changing too. I am looking for connections with other new moms who share my experiences and emotions. I am looking for authentic and real conversations.
While I’ve managed to adapt to the demands of motherhood, becoming pretty solid in the tasks that come with it, I’m still navigating the art of forging deeper friendships. What I really want to say to other moms is this:
“Please hangout with me and maybe let’s talk about being moms and how wonderful and hard this all is and also maybe not talk about our kids for a while cause that is all I talk about these days”
I know, it comes off as a lot… Enter Nicole Cramer and the principles that I use from Exactly What To Say®.
Authentic conversations, I’m learning, are built upon four fundamental cornerstones:
Identifying Our Critical Conversations:
First I need to identify who I was seeking out. Where could I find fellow new moms, and how could I establish a stronger connection with them?
Curiosity:
I realized that asking questions is a powerful way to disarm others and demonstrate genuine interest and investment in their stories. Authentic connections cannot be one-sided, where I simply unload my mom-woes on someone. I need to create space for their stories to be heard too. The best part, I can learn about myself by listening to others.
Empathy:
Empathy plays a crucial role in fostering connections. By empathizing with other moms, I acknowledge that our experiences are different but similar in so many ways. We are all struggling with so many different expectations, mom guilt, loneliness, and a general sense of feeling “Am I doing this right?”
Curating the Flow of the Conversation with Questions, Not Responses:
I’ve come to understand that conversations should revolve around asking to connect. If this is not a cornerstone in your conversations, then you will likely be stuck in a surface level relationship.
While I can’t claim to have mastered these principles just yet, I’m actively working on incorporating them into my everyday life. Their positive impact extends beyond conversations to various aspects of my life, including my professional relationships, family dynamics, and marriage. They’ve not only taught me the art of authenticity but have also allowed me to engage in conversations that I actually enjoy.